Saturday, August 25, 2018

choices + transitions.




jared sent a text earlier this week letting me know that he had a meeting with his bosses, and it was possibly about transferring back to second shift.

my heart sank.

i felt a surge of worry start to build up in my mind, but i quickly reminded myself of truth. it got me thinking about when jared was on second shift for a little over a year.

he started when i was six months pregnant. i had no chill about it because hormones + bringing a new baby into the world + you know, major life changes all at once. i cried for weeks while jared kept reassuring me it would all be okay. i finally decided a couple weeks before he transferred that the only thing about the situation that could change was my attitude. i decided to take my lemons + make lemonade. [actually- i just ate lots of braum's chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.]

the first few months when jared was on second shift weren't too bad. i spent the evenings nesting and binging parks + rec. i'd go grocery shopping on monday nights by myself, which was oddly glorious. once a week, i would take him dinner, and we would eat in the parking lot at his work.

looking back at those weekly parking lot dates, i realize how important they were. the hardest part of second shift for us was the lack of quality time together. on a good day, we saw each other for a total of an hour. but on the bright side, effort was made on both sides. he woke up before i left for work to make me a cup of coffee; i stayed up to chat while he got ready for bed. when he had the night off, we would go on dates or hang out with friends.

after jackson was born, we sold our house + bought another one. maternity leave was definitely not this relaxing time off i had envisioned before having a baby. [how naive i was!] most of the time, jared was working on the new house, and i was just trying to keep my head above water. once we both started back to work, it was so, so different than before jackson.

this might sound crazy given my initial reaction of jared's transfer, but second shift was easier after jackson was born. maybe it was because i had someone to take care of + keep me company while jared was at work. or maybe having those two months of evenings to myself prepared me for what was to come. whatever the reason, i was surprised at how much i liked it.

our park city home was a season of transition for us. it saw us through so much growth. i don't think it was a coincidence that jared was finally transferred back to first shift when we decided to sell that house. i realized it served it purpose for us when we signed the papers at closing and saw that we made a little money in the process.

jared texted me right after his meeting - no transfer. i was relieved. had it become our reality, we would have been okay. but i reeeeally love coming home after work, walking in the door, and seeing jared + jackson playing together on the floor.

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