H A P P E N I N G S -  

+  we decorated out front yard with lots of late spring blooms. it is such a delight to look out and see deep magenta flowers + multicolored lilies + tiny blooms.

+  jackson went bowling for the first time. he loved it!

+  i read two five-star books:  textbook + sea of tranquility 

+  the tres leches cake at sabor (downtown ICT) is SO GOOD! 

+  jackson finished pre-k! not even going to lie, i was emotional when i realized he was officially a kindergartener. 

+  jared + i had a random date night at botanica during the week. the rose bushes were all in bloom + i was in awe of how beautiful it was. 

+  we took a short weekend trip to grand lake with my family. we explored + ate delicious food. 



 L E S S O N S  +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S - 

+   for years, i could never DNF a book. i felt like i always had to finished a book i started. but in the last year, i realized all that wasted time could be used to read books i actually like! i DNF'd two books this month. but not because they were bad; they just weren't for me in this season of life. (if you are wanting books about creating a welcoming home/decor, i think you'd like cozy minimalist + welcome home: a cozy minimalist guide to decorating + hosting all year round

+  i took a week-long social media break. the margin i had for creating + reading + doing tasks i had put off for far too long should not have surprised me, but it did. or course i had the time! a life untethered to the constant scrolling of social media creates a life free of distraction. 

+  roses at botanica  >  tulips at botanica



  4 THINGS I LOVED IN MAY-

1.  rainy days.  it seemed like it rained a lot this month. i'm not saying i could live in the PNW, but i can get down with a few days of rain + thunderstorms. (perfect cozy weather!) 

2.  blogging every day.  i set out to write each day this month, and i did it! what i enjoyed most was crafting my microblogging skills. this has been a goal of mine for quite some time.  

3.  late spring blooms.  in vibrant colors: deep magenta + peach.

4.  jackson’s drawings.  he has started drawing almost every day. and he is practicing writing his name + other letters. it is the cutest thing.




i wanted to eloquently end this every day in may blog series,
but my allergies have me in some kind of chokehold today.
it was quite a month,
but i’m grateful. 

i had a restful three-day weekend.
sometimes the best plans are no plans.
 

+  i deleted the twitter app from my phone this week, and i probably won't download it for awhile. or ever. i almost deleted all my apps this week, TBH.

+  it was a rainy week + i loved it. 

+  i am really enjoying crosswordle


allergies are kicking my butt,
so we spent most of the day in bed.
we ventured out for dinner + coffee.
and then went grocery shopping.
it was a simple day.
a good day. 
a these-are-the-days day.


 


jackson is spending the night with my in-laws.
i find myself walking by his room;
i take a quick glance inside.
that familiar feeling starts to bubble in my chest-
a mixture of anxiety + longing.
so i begin clean his room.
i vacuum + straighten toys + fold clothes.
and once i am finished,
i grab my book + a medicine ball tea
and read.
and sip.
and read.
and sip.

as the sun sets outside his window,
i feel that other familiar feeling-
peace.

this is what surrender looks like,
at least for me,
in this season, in these days.


 




may the evil of this world 
never callous my heart
or chisel at my faith 

evil seems prevalent
but of course it is

because lukewarm faith breeds apathy

and apathy dresses itself up as anger
or justice
or "truth"

but there is no substance underneath
just a faith built on quicksand

and it's bound to sink


i love a rainy day
and getting my hair done
and coming home

rainy evening, cozy vibes 


bye, grand lake ✌🏻


 




since our very first day,
jared + i visit local coffee shops
wherever we go.
it’s a love language, of sorts.



grand lake, day two 



 


grand lake trip, day one

 

 

date night at botanica 
talking + walking amongst hundreds of roses

it was magical ✨
it’s one thing to express gratitude for something.
i am a proponent of naming the good things,
deep or simple

but when you publicly do so
as others are desperate to literally feed their babies
it is passive aggressive gloating, at best 
after a week-long social media break,
i was eager to come back.

and then read a post that i know was meant well,
but was so insensitive + boastful.

and then i unfollowed a few people.

and then i saw posts dripping with hypocrisy.

i closed the apps-
sat by the fire with my husband,
watch the dog play fetch,
and laughed really hard.

that crazy idea i had during my break
to just delete it all + only keep this blog
is starting to not sound so crazy after all.
 


tell me why
my baby
looks like such a big boy
wasn’t he just born
yesterday 







good things from today-
had a chill work day
a coworker brought crumbl cookies
finished a delightful book
went for a walk + listened to a podcast


 




something i have changed my mind about lately-
the color pink.
i used to loathe it in a way that was almost palpable.
but now-
i find certain shades of pink to be delightful:
salmon, blush, magenta, rose quartz
 

currently reading.
“if there’s pleasure in action, there is peace in stillness.”
i want to start a petition to bring blogging back.
remember the days that started with coffee + blogs?
sans smart phones; we read blogs on a desktop. 
what a time is was to be a blogger from 2010-2014.
let’s make it happen. 


kansas, are you okay?
it's 93º today.
did you forget it's only the 9th of may?
spring has barely made its way.
dang, boo- those UV rays.
and that humidity- why you so crayyy?





 


as i hugged jackson before bed, 
he apologized for an earlier tantrum.
i hugged him tighter.
“i forgive you + i love you, bud.”

“what if you didn’t love me?”

i grabbed him into another hug.
“not possible. i love you soooo much.”

what i didn’t say was,
i love you so much, it hurts.” 





 

i walked out of the theater
after watching the new doctor strange movie 
with an aching in my chest 
because it is not just a superhero movie;
it’s about a mother’s love
it’s heartbreaking loss
and it was hauntingly beautiful
 


sabbath things
-  time w/husband
-  coffee on the pergola
-  hot tub time
-  mac + cheese
-  reading a really good book 



 



things that are better to hold than my phone-


-  my baby boy
-  a hot mug of coffee
-  jared's hand
-  an iced coffee
-  a good book
-  a pen for journaling
-  puzzle pieces
-  Hope






the two best things i did today:  backspace + delete.


 

grateful for coffee, a short post-work nap, our local library, cozy socks, scripture, pinterest
open windows, home, friendship, + vacuuming. 

 



my baby boy got a big boy haircut today.

i was a rainy day, which i love.

my co-worker gave me a crumbl cookie.

jackson saw his first rainbow IRL.

six words: blake lively at the met gala.

what a lovely monday.

 

what i want to remember from today-

i slept in until 8:30
my arms were full of babies at church 
sipped a delicious mango pineapple dunkin’ drink
i called my mom to laugh about an inside joke
jared + i bought so many flowers at lowe’s 
together- we repotted them all over our front yard
it was romantic
enjoyed sunday night bible group + prayer 
i held my baby boy during worship 
and climbed into bed sore + tired, with a full heart 


 


1.  digital task reminder app.  i rave about my bullet journal all the time, but i found myself needing little reminders for random things throughout the day. after lots of searching, i ended up messing around with the reminders app that came on my iPhone. it works great! it is customizable + has helped me out a lot.


2.  matinee movie showings.  we usually go to the theater on opening night or weekend nights, but we had a free saturday afternoon, so we chose an afternoon showtime. it was awesome! we went three times this month.


3.  dunkin iced coffees.  there's a new dunkin down the street from us now, and i treat myself to their iced caramel macchiatos each week.


4.  wordle.  i play wordle + drink coffee every morning. it's a simple habit, but one that i look forward to each day. 


5.  forgiveness + grace.  what i know is this: i could live in a constant state of comparison + self-protection or i can bring Light to the darkness. i can say, "i'm sorry". i can move forward with grace. i can be a good friend. i can choose community + vulnerability over self-preservation. 


6.  easter.  maybe more than any other year, easter felt real, almost tangible, this year. He is risen, indeed!