Sunday, September 15, 2019

mary berry + butter beer cake




-  the week back to work after vacation is roooooooough. mostly the first two days.

-  i started reading recursion by blake crouch, and OMG. this book! it's gooooood.

-  when the weather decides to not be a blazing inferno, i am going to make this harry potter pumpkin juice!

-  the duchess + mary berry are the duo we never knew we needed!

-  speaking of the royals- i follow elizabeth holmes on instagram because her posts about their fashion just makes me so happy. i'm not particularly obsessed with the royal family, but i enjoy her take on a lot of their happenings.

-  i recently started following phylicia masonheimer on IG. she has challenged me + encouraged me in my faith. mostly in the area of scripture + knowing what i believe, but also exposing myself to other viewpoints so that i can defend/discuss my side effectively. i really resonated with this post she wrote on IG this week.

-  why do all of my holds for library e-books come in all at once every. single. time?!

-  milkfloat has a butter beer cake that is LEGIT.

-  i drive by this place every morning and never knew what it was. when i saw there were a bajillion sunflowers, i knew we had to go on an adventure. so on friday night, we loaded in the car with my sister-in-law + nephew and went exploring. turns out, it's a wetlands park!

-  i was reading a post on IG where a woman was listing things about herself, and she mentioned that she's a "full-time mom". i'm sorry. are there part-time moms out there? how does one become demoted? i so wish we could change the language + stigmas + comparisons around motherhood. our moms may have dealt with this on some level, but for us- social media makes mothering so dang hard sometimes. everyone is trying to prove how great of a mother they are, and it's exhausting.

-  lest you think that i have all of my life together, i just ordered jackson's birth certificate this week. he's two. oops.

Sunday, September 8, 2019

doc martens + you've got mail




-  jared + i were on vacation this week. it was nice + relaxing. we never slept in, but we made some money from a garage sale + bought a new table + chairs for our dining room + took lots of naps. it was seriously the best to spend all week with my boys.

-  we drove down to my parents' house on monday to pick up jackson. i found my doc martens from twenty years ago. two decades. i remember driving to tulsa with my mom to buy them. she always did things like that when i was growing up. i wanted something, and she made it happen. mom, i know you're reading this. thank you. you are seriously the best.

-  yet again, i think i've mis-typed my enneagram number.

-  i watched you've got mail  for the first time ever this week. it was . . . good. i think i watched it too late to really appreciate the awesomeness of 90s chick flicks. i did  like it though.

-  my parents celebrated 38 years of marriage this week.

-  we had a date night on thursday + tried a local mediterranean restaurant. it was delish!

-  jared's 'instagram husband' skills are improving. [here is proof.]

-  i tried this dark chocolate bar from dillon's (kroger) this week, and now i'm obsessed with all things toffee.


Sunday, September 1, 2019

my beeday + veronica mars + myspace




-  i made these banana cookies this week, and they were legit.

-  our internet froze one night, and the tv stopped working. jackson said, "what happened?" and it made us laugh because he is learning + talking so much more as the days progress.

-  jackson is staying with my parents this weekend. jared + i woke up at 7am on sunday, so that means we are officially old. but we've had good rest these couple days.

-  speaking of getting older, i turned thirty-three this weekend. every single plan we tried to make failed. we had originally wanted to go on a tropical vacay, but then a big house repair happened. (our plans would have been thwarted by the hurricane, so it's for the best that it didn't pan out.) then we decided colorado would be out next best option, and another house repair took that trip out of the picture. we finally settled on OKC, and then jared came down with a gnarly case of poison ivy. so we cancelled everything, and jackson went to my parents' house. it was a super low-key birthday, but that's fine by me.

-  ugly halloween sweaters are a thing, and i am here for it.

-  i finally binged all seasons of veronica mars + the movie + the season on hulu. and THEN i found out that there were also two books written by the creators of v-mars, so now i have both of them on hold at the library for my kindle.

-  jared + i were talking about myspace the other day. i kinda miss it. i was always tweaking my profile + changing the song to match my mood + taking surveys.

Saturday, August 31, 2019

thirty two things in year thirty two.




1.  no matter what tomorrow brings, whether heartache or happiness, Jesus is still better.

2.  i took lots of photos of flowers. no one is surprised by this. not in the least.

3.  we lost our second + third babies via miscarriage.

4.  one of my favorite memories from this year will be us going into applebee's to eat dinner and realizing we were in wrong restaurant AFTER we got our menus. still so dang funny.

5.  i learned that motherhood is hard, but hard doesn't mean something is wrong; it's just hard.

6.  my faith was rocked. (see #3). there are questions i never thought i would ask God. but healing is happening. i have been a believer for over a decade, but when i had my third miscarriage, everything i thought knew came into question. i never once questioned if He is real or anything along those lines. but i had an awakening. despite the incredibly difficult circumstances, there has been good come from it.

7.  when i'm having a crappy day (or even a great one) - i make a list of what i'm grateful for. whether it's big or small, naming the good forces me to look outside of my circumstances and if i'm being honest, away from my self-centeredness.

8.  i left my job at the accounting office. i never, ever thought it would happen. after some unfortunate happenings, i knew i wouldn't be there long term. then a position opened up at a local credit union, and i knew it was time to move on. i have really enjoyed my new job. great people, great company.

9.  our childcare changed a couple times this year, and i was always so worried how it was all going to work out. but God answered every single time, usually before i had a chance to ask.

10.  i learned to check the weather before driving to oklahoma. i got caught in a severe thunderstorm for three hours, and it was terrifying.

11.  i was featured on wichita life ICT.

12.  i learned that it's okay to not finish a book. and it's okay to only read books that i want to read, but just what's popular on bookstagram.

13.  jared + i celebrated four years of marriage.

14.  after jared's grandma died, we heard story after story of how she loved spending time with everyone. it made us all realize that family get-togethers matter to someone.

15.  i got to pet a penguin, and it was one of the highlights of my year for sure!

16.  i fell in love with cooking + baking. i'm definitely not a pro, but i enjoy finding new recipes.

17.  jared + i sometimes have "couch dates" where he plays video games + i read a book/blog/etc. this may not sound like much of a date, but we actually still have meaningful conversations. (we are having a couch date at i type this blog post!)

18.  we bought our home - officially! it has been fun (most of the time) making this space ours.

19.  veronica mars officially became my favorite tv show ever.

20.  i received my first summons for jury duty, but ended up not having to serve.

21.  we celebrated jackson's second birthday.

22.  lot of time was spent on the pergola that jared built.

23.  i learned that just because people are loud about stuff on social media doesn't mean that they are the majority. loud sometimes means you're just loud. that's it.

24.  after years of talking about it, i finally launched wichita collective on instagram. it has been so fun to connect with others in our community + support local businesses.

25.  communication is key, in any relationship - marriage, work, friendship, etc.

26.  essential oils are cool. i like using them. but that's as far as it goes for me.

27.  experienced some firsts:  gave jackson his first haircut. visited my first food truck + trader joe's.

28.  i love podcasts so much. i almost want to start one of my own. but i won't. but i wanna.

29.  i have successfully kept plants alive all year.

30.  it's okay to grieve. it's also okay to grieve while doing things i love. healing comes in many forms.

31.  learned/learning - "He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." [colossians 1:17]

32.  Jesus is where the joy is.


Sunday, August 25, 2019

weekly musings // 01




-  i keep tossing around the idea of documenting each week on the blog. but then life gets in the way, and it doesn't happen. this is my attempt to at least try. yesterday i thought about making this space private, but i'm still not sure. it's not like i'm an influencer, guys. i also thought about switching to squarespace, but those are all lofty goals that i'm not sure will pan out very well.

-  we went out to dinner friday night to applebee's. as we walked into the restaurant, we were surprised at all the renovations they had done. when we sat down, we realized there were no renovations; we just weren't actually in applebee's! how we didn't realize it until we sat down continues to baffle us to laughter. we ended up staying, and it turned out to be a fun family date night.

-  we then went to a store called "at home". as i walked in, memories flooded me like crashing waves. i was overcome with tears because this store reminded me of one i used to shop at with my mom + g-ma called "garden ridge". we would frequent that store on our girls' shopping trips, and it was the sweetest reminder of those days.

-  i purchased a give me Jesus journal this week. i have wanted one for years. the last year of my life has been one of the hardest seasons i've walked through. as i was reading scripture (for the first time in a long while, admittedly), i came across isaiah 58:11. it speaks of a satisfied desire in scorched places, and my life - after three miscarriages in nine months - is a scorched place. but i know the Lord has been with me through it all, and in the afterglow of the embers, i see Him rebuilding my faith in a beautiful way.

-  i have been binging veronica mars, and it is officially my new favorite tv show.

-  i am working on a little fall to-do list this week. nothing extravagant. mostly things we would be doing regardless if i made a fancy list or not. taking jackson to the pumpkin patch is one of my favorite little adventures to do. i hope he loves it, but i also have very low expectations when it comes to his excitement level on everything. he's a kid, after all. he thinks walking around target instead of sitting in the cart is like being at disneyland.

-

Sunday, August 11, 2019

life lately.




it's been a minute since i've posted on this little corner of the internets. sitting down to write a blog post is basically not an option in this season of life. i mean- i suppose if i reeeeally wanted to blog, i could. but honestly, having an active toddler doesn't allow that. also- i'm binging veronica mars right now, so the free time i have after jackson goes to bed is solely dedicated to a tv show that brings me so much joy. (the clothes, the sass, all of it!)

jackson turned two a couple of months ago. that kid. he is all boy. he jumps on everything, loves trucks + dinosaurs, and would stay outside all day if he could.

i've had a stack of outgrown baby clothes sitting on a chair for months. every time i go through them, i get so emotional. i started going through everything in our home (for sanity reasons + for garage sale reasons). i sat on the floor and cried as i sorted the baby clothes because i honestly don't know if i should even keep them. what's the point? i don't know if we can actually have another baby, but jared has a lot more hope than i do, so he makes me keep it all. i agree, for now.

this month marks one year of finishing the renovation + moving into our home. i truly love it here. we have worked on so many projects in the last few months. once fall comes, we will start working on the landscaping. you know i will be planting all the blooms!

i sat down to write this post thinking i had a lot to say. but i guess i don't now that i'm here. i want to write a post of my favorite podcast episodes and one for my favorite links around the internet and one about my current favorites, so maybe i should go write one of those. i also have been throwing around the idea of starting up my weekly musings posts again. i liked those because it forced me to be very intentional about documenting my daily life. i can go days without doing anything creative, and that's no bueno. maybe it could be a 2020 goal.

2020 is basically tomorrow, right? once september get here, it's going to flyyyyyyyy. but i'm ready for fall.

ok- that's all i have to say for now. i can hear jackson causing chaos in the other room. story of my life!

Sunday, June 2, 2019

THE WEEKLY: may 27th - june 2nd





  S N A P S H O T S  

-  this kid loves being outside
-  my favorite coffee shop + my favorite flowers
-  pastel skies
-  flowers to plant from our neighbor


   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S   

i haven't blogged lately because life has been full. not busy. i don't like that term. but full, yes. lots of evenings spent outside on our pergola. (except for the week it rained forrrrrever.) work has been crazy and will stay that way for another month or so. jackson is growing + learning + talking.

summer is here, and i'm happy. the last two summers were BANANAS. we had a newborn in 2017 and last summer was completely dedicated to our home renovation. now we are settled and jackson is almost two. that saying - the days are long, but the years are short - is so true.

several people have asked how i am lately after the miscarriage in april. i can honestly say that i am good. i am so, so grateful for everyone who has lifted me up to the feet of Jesus. i felt your prayers when i was at my lowest. He is good. i know this to be true. i don't know what the future holds, but i know that He is where true joy is. He is why i wake up every day and live.

jared celebrated his birthday on saturday. we went out to dinner and shopped afterward. it was a low-key day, but still nice.

i have been reading a lot lately. i finished station eleven + really enjoyed it! i am now reading educated, and wow, what an insane story.



   L E S S O N S  +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  i started planning jackson's second birthday this week. if i think about it too much, i tear up. that little boy brings so much laughter + joy to our lives. he is a typical toddler, but oh mylanta, he is the sweetest.

-  the only good thing about winter is that there are no mosquitos.

-  it's time for a hair change. i'm totally set on cutting it short-ish, but i'm not sure about the color yet.