Wednesday, June 13, 2018

life lately.



jared + i joked recently that there can never just be one thing going on in our lives at one time - only a minimum of twelve.

we listed our home on the market last month and received an offer less than 24 hours later. this time around, there was no stress because we knew this was a seller's market - big time. we officially closed on the house last week and celebrated with mexican food, obviously.

the home that we are buying will be available as early as next weekend! before we move in, there are three key renovations that must happen - new sheet rock throughout the entire home, new flooring, and re-configuring a couple rooms. i am super excited to start this process even though i know the stress it can bring. it's almost as though we have felt a little restless the past three years when it comes to making a house a home. we are ready to put some roots down + live close to family + be back in the city. (our previous house was only ten-fifteen minutes from everything, but it felt so much further).

i don't regret our park city home though. i look back at those months fondly, knowing that it was filled with redemption + grace + growth following jackson's birth. God's tenderness + kindness toward me in those months - especially at night when i was home alone with a newborn - are imprinted on my heart forever.

i've been very open about my struggles with my failed birth plan. as we approach jackson's first birthday (which i am in denial about hardcore), i can openly say that while it is easier to see birth stories online and not burst into tears, i still carry a bit of pain in my heart. i've debated whether or not to write about it because i don't want jackson to read it one day, and think that i regret anything about him specifically. it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me - my attitude, the poison of comparison that plagued me for months, and putting God aside.

i don't think God "punished" me for trying to live life my way and will my plans into existence, but i firmly believe that he took the broken pieces and made it beautiful. dare i say - there's a smaaaaaalllll part of me that is thankful. i wonder if my birth plan had gone my way - what would my pride look like? would i wear "natural birth" like a badge of honor, snubbing my nose at mamas who didn't do the same? this experience humbled me immensely while increasing my empathy for all mamas. (even for the kardashians.) Lord knows ain't no hood like motherhood.

wow, i suppose i had a lot to say! and to think i was considering deleting wildbloom last week. i actually considered deleting everything online last week, but that notion has passed. i love social media as much as i hate it. i'm trying to be intentional about all of it. right now, it looks like less scrolling. taking more photos, but not feeling the need to share every single frame. not sharing just to share because i haven't posted in a while. following people who have something to say instead of something to sell. unfollowing the noise.

well, that's life lately - aka - blissful chaos.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

CURRENTLY | MAY 2018




▹  reading:  red queen  +  anything & everything from jess connolly    

▹  watching:  i haven't been able to watch much tv lately. life is really full at the moment.

▹  listening:  the popcast  +  criminal  +  bethel's new music  

▹  drinking:  so. much. water.  +  the violet drink from starbucks.

▹  planning:  jackson's first birthday party. it's at a coffee shop!

▹  anticipating:  selling our home. it's been a wild ride, y'all.

▹  craving:  sushi, always + forever.

▹  learning:  that social media is great, but i have been cutting back so much lately.

  enjoying:  evening walks with jackson.   

▹  thinking:  how motherhood has changed me for the better in so many ways.

▹  making me happy: thunderstorms. happy dogs sticking their heads out car windows. coconut milk. watching jackson take his first steps! pastel sunsets. fresh strawberries + coconut whip. cake. finding my favorite sock that was missing for months. listening to worship music on my evening walks.




       

Monday, May 14, 2018

joyful magic.




yesterday was mother's day. i had these wonderful visions of how joyful + magical my first mother's day would be.

but instead, i let one little interaction with someone before church shape the entirety of my day. people walked up to me and cheerfully wished me a happy mother's day. it caught me off guard every single time. i'd surprisingly + awkwardly say oh, thank you. i was so caught up in that one conversation that i couldn't even remember that it was mother's day.

that's something i dislike about myself immensely. someone can say something thoughtless or do something hurtful, and i let it fester beneath the surface for far too long. it ruins my day, my mood, my attitude, and makes me not so fun to be around.

jared called me out on it when we were installing jackson's new car seat. he reminded me that the incident really didn't matter. i knew he was right. but i was trying to make everyone happy yesterday, and i put that burden on myself when i didn't have to.

you'd think that with the aftermath of jackson's birth that i would've learned to have low to zero expectations. alas- i'm constantly learning + re-learning these lessons in life. i think it's okay to have expectations, but it's not okay to hold them with a white-knuckled grip.

my first mother's day may not have been what i'd hoped for, but i woke up this morning today realization: i don't need one day to celebrate motherhood because i have bits + pieces of joyful magic every single day. like when i went into jackson's room to wake him up, he laid his head on my shoulder as we walked into the living room. or when i was taking him to the sitter's house, he kept saying DADADA with his cute little baby voice. or when he made his funny face at me as i left for work. or the dozens of tiny moments that melt my heart all the time. they add up to a lifetime of joy.


Monday, April 30, 2018

A MONTH IN REVIEW: april 2018.





MOMENTS + HAPPENINGS

+  i sat down to write this post, but i can't remember anything from this month. LOL. we moved! the house is almost ready to be put on the market. we have been living with my sister-in-law and her family for little over a week now, and it's so fun!

+  jackson turned ten months old!




LESSONS + REALIZATIONS

+  tax season is over! i will never complain about tax season because i went into this field knowing that it demands longer hours, but i am very happy it is ending. i enjoy the work i do, but there were a few things that happened last month that left me a little wounded. what i found so beautiful + comforting in those hurtful moments was that God was so close. He knew my pain + fears + everything in between and held me close. He brought to light some things i need to change on my end and gave me comfort that He will work all things for my good -- in His timing.




Monday, April 23, 2018

we are insane, part deux.




remember when we decided to sell our house when jackson was just days old?
well... we are insane - again.

over the weekend, we packed up our house and moved in with my sister-in-law + her family. again.

long story short- a house has become available in an area of wichita [maize] that we have always wanted to live. and even better? it's on the same block as my sister-in-law's house. [this means that moving will be a little easier!] the housing market it pretty good right now, but we went an extra step and moved out of our current home so that potential buyers can see it without all our stuff.

the house we will eventually buy currently has occupants, but they are expected to move out once they find a house. we took a gamble with moving out of our current house because a) what if it doesn't sell? and b) the tenants of the home we want to buy still haven't found a home. BUT. that's where faith comes in. we know that God can work things out for our good. He's proven that with jared's work situation this year. [and so many other times. i could list a million little ways He's provided + made a way in our lives lately!]

so the next few months will be filled with prayers + enjoying our time together. we are okay with however God works everything out. i want to soak in all my free time, even if it's just reading a book! i know every parent says this, but time is flying by. jackson turns ten months old this week. i'm already planning his first birthday party. it's fine. i'm fine


Monday, April 9, 2018

WEEKEND NOTES // volume fourteen.





+  this weekend was jam-packed! i had to work on saturday. we went grocery shopping at aldi and then headed to my favorite mexican restaurant to celebrate my father-in-law's birthday. you know what that means? CAKE.

+  after dinner, jared + i took our nieces to the theater to watch a quiet place. that movie was SO good. 

+  when we got home, jared took jackson to his room and as soon as he picked jackson up from his carseat, he laid his head down on jared's shoulder. that image of my baby boy sleeping on his daddy's shoulder is forever ingrained into my mind. my heart burst into a thousand pieces.

+  i've read ten books so far this year, but now i have some sort of book hangover. or maybe it's just indecisiveness. i cannot choose a book to read AT ALL lately. i've went almost two weeks without reading. i wish someone would just make the decision for me! (my favorite genres are fiction, YA, suspense thrillers. here's my to-read list on goodreads.)


AROUND THE INTERNETS

this mug is GORGEOUS.

+  flashback to this time last year when i was seven months pregnant!


Wednesday, April 4, 2018

CURRENTLY: APRIL 2018.





SHOWERING:

this spring has been on the chilly/dry side, so the only showers around here are the ones i take at night. i recently picked up this shampoo + conditioner from target, and it smells SO good. there have been multiple times a day where i've grabbed a fistful of hair and inhaled. that may sounds weird, but i've never found a scent i loved this much for my hair.


CULTIVATING:

-  healthier habits. i fell into a food rut recently and started feeling the affects of a poor diet. i have started drinking a ton of water as well.

-  april goals with my powersheets.


EXPECTING:

-  not a baby, that's for sure.

-  the spare bedroom to stay clean for about a week. i finally got it in some order last night, but that room is the catch-all for eeeeeverything. we are storing a lot of jackson's baby items in there for the next baby (again- NOT expecting right now! haha.) so it may never look ordered, but at least there aren't boxes of clothes sitting on the floor.


MAKING:

- a website! a couple of year ago, jared + i dreamed up this idea of a website for our city. we put it on hold when i found out i was pregnant, but now we are back at it! i am so excited to get this project off the ground, but i know it's going to be a lot of work. fun work though.

-  a list of possible topics for tomorrow's #notpolethursdays


BUYING:

-  i have an odd love for vacuuming, and we recently bought this vacuum. we have hardwood floors throughout our home except for the game room, but it works great because it has two settings, one for bare floors, one for carpet.

-  i'm on the hunt for some new basics: v-necks, a new pair of black pants for work, and a new pair of jeans. my post-baby style is pretty similar to my pre-baby style- tee, cardigan, skinnies, and ankle boots/sandals/vans. simple, cute, functional.



linking up with anne of in residence