Monday, January 15, 2018

NOTES FROM THE WEEKEND | volume two.





-  i inadvertently started using less social media last week. i didn't intent to take a break, but i didn't mind it either. i replaced all that mindless scrolling with reading books. i've finished three books this month already; i read three books total last year.

-  i had sort of a come to Jesus moment last week. i've been open on the blog about my struggles with motherhood. when it all came crashing down last week, i realized a lot of my issues are rooted in comparison. my thought process was often some form of: this mom is doing this and that mom is doing that, and i'm doing something different, so that must mean i'm doing something wrong? i have made a point to pray whenever i have those thoughts creep into my mind. my hope is that God will rid me of this sin + doubt + shame and show me my identity isn't in titles, but in Jesus alone. i still have a long way to go, but i've already seen heart shifts that only He can do. 

-  after months of prayers, jared was promoted to a new position at work. it's still on second shift, but this sets him up for a better chance at getting first shift in the future. we are so excited, and even better: he will be training is on first shift for the month of february!

-  jackson started babbling MAMAMAMAMA this weekend. i'm not quite convinced he's saying mama, but i still love it. 



AROUND THE INTERNETS

if today is hard.

+  "people are constantly posting things to make themselves feel like superior moms, like articles confirming why they do what they do is the absolute best choice and why everything else was terrible and damaging to our little darlings."  this article was spot on.

+  i want to try this latte. #HPforever





Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Q1 WORD: BALANCE




by mid-december, i usually know what my word/phrase for the year will be. my yearly goals are set. my powersheets are filled out + ready to go by january first. well... december came + went. and i had nothing. nada. the past two weeks have been so stressful for me. between the holidays, ringing in the new year, suffering a from a severe case of hives, and knowing that january is the busiest month of my work year... i felt like i was barely keeping my head above water. and it's only january ninth, guys.

but then i heard that sweet whisper: not your strength, but Mine. and it's in that moment i realized i've been trying to survive on my own strength for months. half-hearted prayers here + there, disconnected from worship + scripture - oh, Lord. bind my wandering heart to Thee.

as i had this revelation from the Lord yesterday at work, i felt the chaos lift slightly. it reminded me of a song we sing at church: i call Your name. Lord, You reply. You bring your kingdom and stand by my side. in this season, i've known the Lord was always with me. there were other times of wandering like this in my life. in every season, i know He is still God.

as i was working on my powersheets prep last week, i realized that this year, i want to focus on three months at a time. as a bookkeeper, the quarters of the year are important. three months seems far more manageable than twelve, right? after some thought + looking at the different areas of my life, my word for Q1 of 2018 is BALANCE. 

at first, i was like- really? balance. how.... boring. but then the Lord started showing me areas of my heart + my life that needed some balancing. i'm trying to juggle so much. faith. marriage. motherhood. work. friends + family. keeping a home. laundry. i just need to find some... you guessed it: balance.

that looks like less mindless scrolling of all social media, which i have started implementing recently. reading more books. [i've already finished one this week!] tidying up at the end of the day when jackson is [maybe] asleep for the night. working hard when i'm at my job. maybe putting in some overtime to help with the extra load. figuring out good meals to eat. loving jared well. starting a load of laundry when i get up in the mornings.

all while all those tasks will help balance the everyday stresses, what ultimately matters is my relationship with the Lord. that's the foundation of my life. when i'm rooted in scripture + communicating with Him, everything else will fall into place.


Monday, January 8, 2018

NOTES FROM THE WEEKEND | volume one





-  after weeks of struggling with a severe case of hives, i finally found relief this weekend! my doctor upped my meds, and it seems to be working. i'm still not sure if it's because i went a little [okay...a lot] cray with the reintroduction of dairy into my diet, or if it's because i am legit allergic to it now. either way, i am thankful to not be itching. it was the worst.

-  we had a wedding saturday afternoon, and afterward, we decided to have a night in for once. saturdays are typically our date nights because of jared's work schedule, but it was so nice to just hang out with husband, rock jackson to sleep early, and read for awhile.

-   i am still working on my powersheets prep for the new year. i have narrowed down the areas i want to focus on this year, but i was having difficulty with my word/phrase for the year. in the past, it was already swirling around in my head by december. this year, i felt the Lord nudging me to focus on everything by quarter. [as a bookkeeper, this made my heart sing with delight.] so my word for Q1 of 2018 is BALANCE.

______________________________________


AROUND THE INTERNETS

+  i finished eleanor oliphant is completely fine over the weekend. such a cute book! i love her personality + literal-ness. i was on the wait list for months, so i devoured this book pretty quickly. [did you know that you can place holds on e-books? i used to be a "physical copy only!" hater, but it's just so much easier to balance a baby + a kindle.]

+  my friend amanda of the lady okie blog shared her thoughts on going back to work after baby #2. it was hard for me to go back to work after having jackson, but i have zero guilt about it these days. amanda also shared this article, and these words made me want to take out a billboard ad + plaster them all over for everyone to see:  "i have to wonder if we haven’t traded one idol for another, if we haven’t swapped out the caricature of the empowered feminist for the caricature of the domestic goddess." although after i linked this, i started to read some of the comments, and now i want to punch someone.

+  i love this episode about cleaning on the simple show podcasts. fun fact about me: i love tidying up our home at the end of each day. i know... so nerdy! but it gives me life in such a weird way. i also really love vacuuming. i just ordered a really nice, fancy shark vacuum cleaner, and it arrives this week, and i cannot contain my inner danny tanner! 

this tweet is EVERYTHING. 



Wednesday, January 3, 2018

CURRENTLY: JANUARY 2018





STARTING:  to set my goals for the new year. in years past, i've set random goals like read xx books, but this year i want to focus on six areas of my life: faith, marriage, jackson, creativity, work, and home tending.  


HOPING:  for lots of things: hoping jackson + i start feeling better soon. [we have colds] hoping that i'm not allergic to dairy now because i'm covered in hives. hoping for a shift change at jared's job. hoping for a really short winter because -4 degrees is just stupid.


SCHEDULING:  not very much actually. january is the start of tax season, so my days look pretty much the same until april: work, home, repeat. i will be working saturdays this year, and even though i'll miss my boys, i also really love my job. there is actually one thing i need to schedule soon: a hair appointment. these roots be hideous, y'all.


READING:  eleanor oliphant is completely fine.  i read three books last year. yikes. but - you know - i had a baby, so there's that. i don't have a set number for my reading goal. it isn't really about hitting the number as much as it's about taking time to read instead of mindlessly scrolling social media or browsing netflix for an hour.  


PLAYING:  alllllll the podcasts! they have taken over the radio in my car. i couldn't tell you the last song i listened to because podcasts are my jam right now. my favorites are the popcast + the simple show. i just started listening to the next right thing + that sounds fun.




________________________


linking up with anne of in residence



 

Sunday, December 31, 2017

A MONTH IN REVIEW // DECEMBER 2017






MOMENTS + HAPPENINGS

+  jackson started eating some pureed foods this month. he also turned six months old!

+  we celebrated christmas with my family in oklahoma and with jared's family here in wichita.

+  i added dairy back in to my diet, and jackson seems to be handling it well. but then i broke out in hives all over my body, so now i actually may be allergic to dairy.

+  we rang in the new year with family + games + lots of laughter.



LESSONS + REALIZATIONS

::  as a working mom, i know there are milestones + moments i'm going to miss. jackson started solids this month, and i kept trying to get him to eat bananas, but homeboy wasn't interested. jared's parents gave him some solids while they were watching him one day, and he gobbled it up. i felt a ting of sadness, but the next day, jared's mom told us how thankful she was for jared's dad to get to see jackson try food for the first time because he missed out on those milestones when their kids were little. it was such a sweet moment.

::  just because an item is on sale doens't mean i neeeeeeed it.

::  i had a lot of work to get caught up this month at my job because i took a couple days off in preparation for the craziness of tax season. the best thing that helped me stay motivated? podcasts! i've been binging the popcast + the simple show.

::  crunchy moms make me feel like a lesser mother. but the other side of that? i let myself feel less than even though it's not true. i'm working on this though. i'm learning to stay away from certain blogs and scrolling past articles on facebook that are filled with the most vile + hateful comments ever. i'm learning to accept that there are certain parts of motherhood that look different for me because i'm a working mom. i'm learning. that's the key to this journey.





REFLECTIONS FROM 2017



LITTLE BY LITTLE

my phrase for 2017 was little by little. i've chosen words/phrases before, but this year was the first time i really committed to it the entire year. a lot of that has to do with my powersheets + setting good goals throughout the year. after yeeeeears of telling myself i needed to consolidate my closet/clothes, i finally did it! i donated half of my wardrobe, and it is so freeing to open my closet and choose clothing that i truly enjoy wearing. these days, i'm not really focused on what i'm wearing. it's just the season i'm in at the moment. give me a v-neck, skinnies, booties, and a cardigan, and i'm good to go.

i have developed a daily habit of tidying up our home, which has oddly become therapeutic. i'm still in the process of de-cluttering our home. i'm not sure what finally clicked this year - maybe it was buying a new home or motherhood or just growing older - but i just want to rid my life of all the things that hold no value. gone are the days of holding onto an item "just in case" because nine times out of ten, i can replace it.



EGRETS + BUYING A NEW HOME

during the spring, i noticed there were a lot of birds in our backyard trees. i kept telling jared about them, but he was on a different shift, so he never saw them during the daytime. he texted me on one of his days off about the birds, remarking that there sure where a lot of them. fast forward to june. we estimated that there were about 200 birds living in our trees at that point. it was downright disgusting. we couldn't let our dogs be outside for more than five minutes without getting covered in bird poop. they were getting sick a lot. it was starting to become a health hazard.

while in the hospital, jared found a house online that he really liked. picture this insanity: i'm standing in this empty house, no make-up, hunched over because of my c-section, new baby. total hot mess. but the home was exactly what we were looking for - location, price range, everything. it was a total God thing because how were we supposed to sell our current house and buy a new one with a newborn?! turns out, a couple from our church was on the hunt for their first home. and crazily enough- they loved our house. so we started the process of selling our house, and buying the new home.

i went into the office a couple weeks after jackson was born. when i got home, jared voiced his concerns about the birds. so that day (with a two week old, people!) we moved in with my sister-in-law and her family. i was super excited to have all the extra help with jackson, but it was a lot. probably too much now that we look back. but it all worked out. we love our new home, and if i never see an egret in my life, i'll be happy.


JACKSON TIMOTHY

welcoming our son into the world was obviously the biggest part of our year. while i've struggled with his birth, i am so grateful for that little boy. motherhood is hard. really, really hard. much more difficult that i anticipated. but i wouldn't trade it for anything. watching jared step into his role as a daddy made my heart swell up with happiness. he's so sweet + fun with jackson. not many men would be willing to sacrifice their all their free time to watch their kids so they could save money on childcare. jared has done so without any complaint. jackson has brought so much joy to our lives. i just love that little dude.



JARED'S NEW SHIFT

in march, jared started working second shift. i was not happy about this change. it meant less time together + spending my evenings alone. it was easier before jackson - of course. but this is our new normal, and we're making the best of it. it's hard not having anyone to help out with jackson in the evenings, but then again, jared does it by himself during the day. we've been praying for a shift change, but until then, we are making the best of a crappy situation.



Friday, December 29, 2017

2 0 1 7 // A YEAR IN REVIEW





JANUARY


-  i shared my phrase for the year: little by little.
-  this was my fourth month of pregnancy.
-  i started feeling jackson kick this month!

blog posts:  a month in review  //  confession session  //  currently: january 



FEBRUARY

-  husband + i celebrated valentine's day with a fun roadtrip to OKC.
-  this was my fifth month of pregnancy + it's a BOY!
-  we made the best purchase of our marriage: a king-sized bed. PRAISE.

blog posts:  a month in review  //  pregnancy + faith  


MARCH

-  jared + i celebrated our two year anniversary.
-  this was my sixth month of pregnancy.
-  welcomed the coming of spring with open arms + lots of photos.
-  jared started on second shift this month. while it has its challenges, we've learned to make the best of it.

blog posts:  a month in review  //  currently: march  //  how i bullet journal  //  powersheets Q1  //  weekly musings     


APRIL

-  i had my first baby shower this month. such a sweet day!
-  this was my seventh month of pregnancy.
-  hubs + i watched beauty and the beast in the new warren theater out east.
-  the invasion of egrets started this month. this was one of the craziest parts of our year!

blog posts:  a month in review  //  weekly musings     


MAY

-  my mama threw me a baby shower in oklahoma. i loved getting to see all my okies.
-  this was my eighth month of pregnancy.
-  we took our last camping trip of the season.
-  i had so much cake this month, and i consider that awesome.
-  we toured the hospital where i'd give birth. it was so surreal.

blog posts:  a month in review  // thoughts in my last month of pregnancy


JUNE

-  we enjoyed one of our last weekends as just the two of us.
-  this was my last month of pregnancy!
-  we welcomed our son, jackson timothy.

blog posts:  40 week update  //  currently: june   


JULY

-  this was one of the hardest months of my entire life. but it was beautiful in its own way.
-  we started the process of buying a new house. with a newborn. yep, we're CRAZY.
-  we moved into my sister-in-law's house so jared could do some house improvements for the buyers.
-  i started working from home this month.
jackson turned one month old!

blog posts:  jackson's birth story  //  life lately  


AUGUST

-  we moved into our new home! what a whirlwind summer, but definitely a memorable one.
-  i started a dairy-free diet.
-  i started back to work this month after eight weeks of maternity leave.
jackson turned two months old!

blog posts:  a month in review  //  currently: august    


SEPTEMBER

-  jared + i took a super fun road trip to OKC for my birthday.
-  i had my first major haircut in over a decade.
-  while i love physical books, i bought a kindle because it's easier to hold with a baby in the other arm.
-  i started binging fixer upper this month. i didn't understand all the hype, but now i get it!
jackson turned three months old!

blog posts:  a month in review  //  three things you should know   


OCTOBER

-  what started out as a fun poll turned into a thing this month. #notpolethursdays
-  i opened up about my struggles with jackson's birth.
-  jared + i binged stranger things + ate pizza + it was magical.
jackson turned four months old!

blog posts:  a month in review  //  currently: october  //  2Q + 3Q powersheets   


NOVEMBER

-  we transitioned jackson into his crib. it was hit + miss, but i did get seven straight hours of sleep one night!
-  i put our christmas tree up in the middle of the month.
jackson turned five months old!

blog posts:  a month in review  //  thoughts on the dirty john podcast   


DECEMBER

-  i started adding dairy back into my diet, and jackson seems to be tolerating it well!
-  we celebrated jackson's first christmas. jared + i agree that this was the best christmas so far.
-  jackson turned six months old!

blog posts:  a month in review  //  lessons in motherhood  //  currently: december  //  l i n k s