Monday, September 24, 2018

the weekly: sept 17 - sept 23.

  S N A P S H O T S  

-  fall is here!  
-  i just love him.
-  diffusing oils for my sickly baby. 
-  i've heard so many good things about this book.

   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S    

-  i bought my first cookbook. i needed something with simple recipes, and this seems like the perfect fit for now!

-  i got my young living starter kit in the mail! i also started a little insta account to learn + connect with other oily friends.

-  i took the day off on friday to go shopping with my mama! it was just like old times + exactly what i needed.

-  we ventured out to el dorado to camp on friday night. the weather - you guys - it was perfect.

   L E S S O N S   +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  He is near in our brokenness. during worship on wednesday night, i had an amazing moment. i can't quite describe it, but i won't forget it. ever. i've been struggling with a lot lately, and He covered me with His love.

-  on sunday, we woke up with a sickly baby. it made my mama heart so sad, but i wasn't mad about the extra cuddles.

  P R E V I O U S L Y  on  W I L D B L O O M  

+  2016:  friday favs  |  the best cookies ever  |  fall favorites  |  if i were a flavor of ice cream  |  a happy list  |  WB favs
+  2015:  currently: september.
+  2014:  a day in the life
+  2013:  the coming of fall  |  currently  |  a happy list

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

raising the white flag.

as i cooked dinner, jackson sat at my feet- pots + pans scattered all over the kitchen floor. he mimicked me as i stirred the food. i smiled + thought back to this time one year ago. smiling didn't come easy because of the constant state of anxiety that plagued my everyday life.

i questioned everything i did in regards to my mothering abilities. i was drowning in worry + self-doubt. jared kept gently reminding me that i was doing the absolute best i could do and offer our son. he was right, yet the negative thoughts outweighed the positive every single time.

one year later, i think back to that season. that new mom. i wish, oh how i wish, i could cradle her face in my hands and tell her, YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB. [no doubt i'd have tears in my eyes because i do just typing it.] i'd tell her to stop comparing herself to others around her and moms she sees on the internet because their perfect instagram squares don't tell the whole story.

comparison was my nemesis. from jackson's birth to breastfeeding to his sleep habits to everything in between. it consumed me. google is one of the worst things for a new mom. i once read a comment section [whyyyy did i do that?!] where another mom wrote, "breastfeeding is the most natural thing a woman can do. it was the way God intended it." well susan, i'm pretty certain God intended for us to be kind + compassionate to other moms + not judgmental d-bags.

our abilities as mothers don't hinge on how another mother raises her kids. we've convinced ourselves that the beliefs of other moms are absolute, even if they aren't in any way possible because of circumstance, lifestyle, etc.

mama friends, here me on this. stop spending so much time comparing and justifying your child-rearing choices to strangers on the internet, to the neighbor across the street, to the way so-and-so does it, to everyone with a differing opinion. your child is just that - YOURS. if you're making informed decisions regarding your child and their well-being, YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB.

so this is me raising the white flag to all the moms out there.

whether you breastfeed or formula feed or do both.
whether you vaccinate or you choose not to.
whether you stay home or work from home or go to a job outside the home.
whether you have one child, two children, three or twelve.
whether you use regular diapers or cloth diapers.
whether you co-sleep or your child has yet to sleep through the night or both.
whether you dress your kid in nothing but name brand clothes or it's alllll hand-me-downs.
whether you feed your kids only organic foods or you don't care about organic food.
whether you homeschool or send your kids to public school or pay for private school.

let's repeat this together: GOOD FOR HER; NOT FOR ME. [thanks to amy poehler for this phrase!]

you are in no way 'less than' because someone loudly proclaims a specific method that is different from yours as the "best" way. just because they're loud doesn't mean they're right. mothering differently than others doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.


Monday, September 17, 2018

the weekly: september 10th - september 16th.

  S N A P S H O T S  

-  puffy clouds make me happy.  
-  my boys.
-  an imperfect photo, but i still love it.
-  fall mums.

   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S    

-  i came home TWICE this week to a fully-cooked meal. jared bought a new grill, and i'm reaping the benefits, y'all.

-  i took my nieces + jackson to the mall. i was "that mom" whose kid was screaming veeeeery loudly as i carried him outside because homeboy just wanted to run around and be free. it was humbling + slightly hilarious.

-  i started participating in the #10thingstotellyou challenge on instagram.

-  i ordered a starter kit from young living. i promise i'm not going to be annoying about it, guys.

   L E S S O N S   +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  there's a difference in knowing who God is and actually knowing Him.

five tv shows that sum up my personality + who i am.

-  cooking dinner is so much better when you plan out meals + have all the ingredients! HA. i am on week two of meal planning, and it is going great. [this is not to be confused to meal prep. my sunday afternoons are for naps.]

Monday, September 10, 2018

the weekly: sept 3rd - sept 9th.

  S N A P S H O T S  

-  reading anne bogel's new book, i'd rather be reading.  
-  that kid loves playing outside!
-  saturday mornings.
-  coffee + dino.

   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S    

-  labor day was spent quietly at home, which was very welcomed after such a whirlwind summer.

-  i had an hour + a half before an appointment one morning, and i spent every minute browsing target + drinking a latte. it was BLISSFUL.

-  once jackson started walking, he has been non-stop on the move. he has no time to cuddle with mommy. i left for work on friday morning and asked him for a hug. he usually runs away laughing because he knows i'll come chasing after him. but this time, he walked up to me with arms open and gave me a hug. my heart could have burst out of my chest.

-  we usually have no trouble putting jackson to bed at night, but saturday night was out of the norm. he was crying and crying, so i gave it five minutes, and finally went in to check on him. i picked him up and sat in the rocker for about ten minutes just holding my baby boy. i cried some happy tears because - as i said before - i never, ever get to cuddle with him anymore. jared peaked in to see what was going on, and he smiled really big and knew that it was exactly what i needed.

-  jared + i had the perfect sunday afternoon. we lounged outside, sipped coffee, and enjoyed the incredible weather. once jackson woke up, he played and we took him to the park. we ended the day with a game night with friends. our sundays are usually so hectic, and this was just what my soul needed.

   L E S S O N S   +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  i loathe grocery shopping because i always, always forget something. [yes, even when i make a list, there's always something.] but this week, i was determined to change that. and i did! what i found most helpful was putting pen to paper + writing out a meal plan for the week. 

-  i have never read a book twice, and that's okay. there are too many books on my TBR list

-  i took anne bogel's reading personality quiz. i tested as "the escapist" + that is very accurate of my reading life.

-  our childcare situation changed this week. real talk: i could not see how God was going to work it out. jared was so positive, and i just wanted to wallow in myself. we received the news right before church started, and i sat through the entire service feeling sorry for myself + telling God there was no way this would work out. i was so caught up in the circumstance that i couldn't remember all the times He HAS provided. and guess what? by the end of the service, He DID provide. jared's parents start watching jack next week. not only was it an answered prayer for us, but it was for them. they're retired and could definitely use the extra cash. God saw my distrust and still made a way. i don't deserve His kindness, but He has really been doing a refining work on my heart as of late. this song has constantly been playing.

  P R E V I O U S L Y  on  W I L D B L O O M  

+  2017-  coming back to me  //  dairy-free diet  //  day date in OKC 
+  2016-  summer favorites  //  currently  //  most memorable birthday  //  labor day recap  //  joyful things  //  odd traits
+  2015-  colorado springs trip
+  2014-  when i grow up  //  fashion trends  //  passion  //  currently  //  reading list  //  music  //  INFJ
+  2013-  when true love doesn't wait  //  falling into autumn  //  thirty-two  //  tidbits of life 
+  2012-  over the weekend  

Sunday, September 2, 2018

the weekly: august 27th - september 2nd.

  S N A P S H O T S  

-  banana birthday cupcake.  
-  saturday morning planning.
-  jackson loves his new bedroom.
-  started reading a new book.

   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S    

-  i was organizing our bedroom while jared was watching jackson in the living room. or so i thought. i walked into the bathroom to find jackson covered in water. IN TOILET WATER.

-  i caught a lovely summer cold mid-week. dayquil has been my best friend.

-  i finished reading theeeeee cutest book - since you've been gone.

-  celebrated thirty-two with banana cupcakes, date night, + lots of love from my people.

-  had a game night with our neighbors/family.

   L E S S O N S   +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  part one: our son thinks playing in toilet water is a good time. part two: make sure the bathroom door is always closed.

-  banana cupcakes are so delightful + i have the best co-worker who surprised me with my favorite dessert!

-  it's unofficially officially fall in my opinion.

  P R E V I O U S L Y  on  W I L D B L O O M  

+  2017:  august: a month in review.
+  2016:  farewell to my twenties.  blogtember: day one.  blogtember: day two.  august 2016.
+  2014:  on setting goals.  september goals.  blogtember: day one.  blogtember: day two.  august 2014.
+  2013:  twenty-seven.  twenty-seventh birthday celebration.  don't quote me on that.  a happy list.

Monday, August 27, 2018

the weekly: august 20th - 26th.

  S N A P S H O T S  

-  saturday mornings are my favorite. 
-  while unpacking, i found my grandma gracie's bible.
-  salted cream cold foam cold brew. it's legit, y'all.
-  i might be in love with our new appliances.

   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S    

-  jared finished up the trim work, and i am alllllmost finished unpacking the last few boxes!   

-  i made dinner while jackson played in the next room. these little moments are so delightful.

-  i worked late one night and didn't get home until 8:30. jackson greeted me with a huge smile, and i melted.

-  finished glass sword on audiobook. i'm just not very into this series like i thought i'd be.  

-  we had zero plans on friday night, and it was GLORIOUS.

-  my family came up on saturday. we celebrated my birthday early with shopping + dinner at rib crib.

   L E S S O N S   +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  sometimes i need to lay aside my pride (okay, all the time) and get the job done. i have been stubborn about some things at work, and it's benefiting no one- myself included.

-  i tried new shampoo + conditioner recently, but switched back to my favorites. i have never loved a shampoo scent more!  

-  i am an enneagram TWO. i have taken the free test more than five times, and i felt like i was getting mixed results, but the i realized that type two was always first or second on the list. i've been deep-diving all things enneagram, and it's fascinating. [does this mean i'm a true millennial now?] 

-  in case you're wondering my myers-briggs type, i'm an INFJ. it's supposedly only makes up 2% of the population, but a majority of my blogging friends are INFJs.

-  as great as personality tests are, they don't define me. i won't use them as a crutch for poor behavior. -but- it is fun to explore and use as a tool to better understand someone.

-  make sure to pick up any rogue toys because jared may trip over one as he's leaving for work at 4:30 in the morning, causing oneself to run through the house whisper-yelling BABE, BABE. what did i think i was going to accomplish by calling an intruder babe?

-  i was just about to give up on these weekly posts when i realized that i have come to loathe the monthly recaps. i always forget to update the post weekly so that i'm not sitting with a blank page on the last day of the month- when it dawned on me: why not just write a weekly recap? having my new agendio planner really helps because i use it as a planner/journal/memory keeper/catch-all.

i reflected on the year jared worked second shift

  P R E V I O U S L Y  on  W I L D B L O O M  

+  2017 - photos from my maternity leave  [i remember writing this post at work because i was trying to distract myself.]
+  2016 - coffee date  [other coffee dates on the blog.]   
+  2014 - exploring freedom [still the best chai ever!] +  your suffering is over [one of WILDBLOOM's most popular posts!]
+  2013 - iphoneography  [dang, i miss this series on the blog.]

Saturday, August 25, 2018

choices + transitions.

jared sent a text earlier this week letting me know that he had a meeting with his bosses, and it was possibly about transferring back to second shift.

my heart sank.

i felt a surge of worry start to build up in my mind, but i quickly reminded myself of truth. it got me thinking about when jared was on second shift for a little over a year.

he started when i was six months pregnant. i had no chill about it because hormones + bringing a new baby into the world + you know, major life changes all at once. i cried for weeks while jared kept reassuring me it would all be okay. i finally decided a couple weeks before he transferred that the only thing about the situation that could change was my attitude. i decided to take my lemons + make lemonade. [actually- i just ate lots of braum's chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.]

the first few months when jared was on second shift weren't too bad. i spent the evenings nesting and binging parks + rec. i'd go grocery shopping on monday nights by myself, which was oddly glorious. once a week, i would take him dinner, and we would eat in the parking lot at his work.

looking back at those weekly parking lot dates, i realize how important they were. the hardest part of second shift for us was the lack of quality time together. on a good day, we saw each other for a total of an hour. but on the bright side, effort was made on both sides. he woke up before i left for work to make me a cup of coffee; i stayed up to chat while he got ready for bed. when he had the night off, we would go on dates or hang out with friends.

after jackson was born, we sold our house + bought another one. maternity leave was definitely not this relaxing time off i had envisioned before having a baby. [how naive i was!] most of the time, jared was working on the new house, and i was just trying to keep my head above water. once we both started back to work, it was so, so different than before jackson.

this might sound crazy given my initial reaction of jared's transfer, but second shift was easier after jackson was born. maybe it was because i had someone to take care of + keep me company while jared was at work. or maybe having those two months of evenings to myself prepared me for what was to come. whatever the reason, i was surprised at how much i liked it.

our park city home was a season of transition for us. it saw us through so much growth. i don't think it was a coincidence that jared was finally transferred back to first shift when we decided to sell that house. i realized it served it purpose for us when we signed the papers at closing and saw that we made a little money in the process.

jared texted me right after his meeting - no transfer. i was relieved. had it become our reality, we would have been okay. but i reeeeally love coming home after work, walking in the door, and seeing jared + jackson playing together on the floor.