Wednesday, June 21, 2017

40 week update.




i went in for my 40-week appointment yesterday. i haven't dilated past 1, but i'm 60% effaced. baby has definitely dropped in the last few days. i'm having lots of tightening braxton hicks and pressure, but no significant contractions.

my doctor scheduled us for an induction next friday (the 30th). i'll be totally transparent: my heart sank. i have spent the majority of my life thinking i would want an epidural the second labor started, but after research + talking with a couple friends, i made the decision to birth naturally. inductions do not prevent this from happening, but they certainly increase the chances of outside medical intervention. (the two things i absolutely do not want: epidural and/or c-section.)

i keep reminding myself that at the end of the day, my biggest prayer is a safe + healthy delivery. so here i am, sitting in the tension of boldly declaring that He is able to work all things out for my good while holding my plans loosely at His feet. i know my God is able.  


Wednesday, June 14, 2017

CURRENTLY // june 2017.




creating:  allllll the lists. i basically make to-do lists so i can see how long i can procrastinate the tasks.

eating:  salads. ice cream. strawberries. peanut butter sammiches.   

drinking:  i bought a cute cup at target for $5 + i've been guzzling water like crazy. and blackberry lemonade.

reading:  lots of articles related to labor + delivery, of course. 

watching:  all the instagram stories. i am obsessed with 'em.  

anticipating:  oh ya know, giving birth.

enjoying:  leftover cupcakes from my fourth + final baby shower.

marveling:  at the fact that - no matter what - i will have a baby in less than three weeks. what the what?!  

needing:  to pack a hospital bag. install the car seat. order the crib mattress. ha! no big deal. 

learning:  to just smile when people comment on the size of my belly. it's whatever at this point.

celebrating:  finding out at this week's baby appointment that i am 1 cm dilated; 50% effaced!





Monday, June 12, 2017

everyday moments: little saturday adventures.



jared + i found ourselves with a rare weekend with no plans. it turned out to be a weekend of little adventures. and it was the best.

i snapped a couple bump photos. it blows my mind that i will have a baby in my arms in less than three weeks for sure. but we are so ready to meet our little man - even milo is excited!



i woke up around 9. while jared was sleeping, i cleaned the house + enjoyed a slow morning. we then had lunch at rib crib + an afternoon coffee date at verita coffee.




we met some friends at the theater and watched the new mummy movie. afterward, i was craving a cupcake, so we ventured over to smallcakes. [it just opened down the street, less than a minute from our house. it's a blessing + a curse!] we enjoyed the most delicious cupcakes - lemon for him, peanut butter for me - and then headed home to relax for a couple hours. we ended the evening with a game night with two of our couple friends.

jared looked over at me after everyone left, and said, "i had a great day with you babe."
these little moments - they are what i will remember in the years to come. random saturday adventures with my love. this is the life, i tell ya.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

a month in review // may 2017




salted caramel latte. lake vibes. pretty flowers on a nature trail.
flowers from my niece. new flair pen colors! iced chai.
pretty flowers at work. baby bump at 33 weeks. milo bean.



MOMENTS + HAPPENINGS


//  we took one last big camping trip to big hill lake before baby gets here. i was a little nervous because - hello, i'm eight months pregnant. walking to the fridge exhausts me, so how am i going to keep up with everyone on hikes and such? i'm happy to report that i was a trooper. our trip was so fun. the weather was ahhhhhmazing - probably the best camping weather we've ever had.

//  i felt my first braxton hicks. i was walking out of target, and BAM. it took me until the next day to realized what they were. i downed lots of water, and they improved by the end of the weekend.

//  jared + i took a small road trip to my hometown for a baby shower my mama threw for me at the church i grew up in. it was a blast to get to see everyone again. we also stopped by aspen coffee shop so i could get a chai latte because they have the best ever!

//  i had another baby shower at work. i felt so spoiled! we ate at on the border, and then came back for cake + presents. we ended up hanging out in my boss's office all afternoon, and it was so fun to celebrate with my work girls.

//  jared + i took a tour of the hospital where i am giving birth. it was kinda surreal to see it all, knowing we will be there in a matter of weeks to meet our son.




LESSONS + REALIZATIONS


::  when i tell people i'm opting for a natural birth, i always thought i'd get positive responses. guys- i've received maybe a handful of people encouraging me in this decision. the rest were negative in some way or another. i obviously don't need people to affirm me on this. i have jared + my doctor + my doula + the Lord to do that. but goodness, i was a little bummed by the lack of support.

::  i have maybe two pairs of matching socks these days thanks to a really cute, but really naughty beagle baby.

::  finding a cheap glider for the nursery is not at easy as i thought it'd be. slap the term "nursery glider" on a normal chair, and all of a sudden the price is double what it would normally be. but we finally found such a great deal after searching over five different stores.

::  when i set book goals, it's easier to pick out the book(s) i want to finish first. instead of "read two books" this month, i specifically separated the goal into two parts: finish "chasing slow" and read ina may's guide to childbirth.




MAY GOALS


[monthly goals]

-  schedule hospital tour. 
-  finish "chasing slow".  //  i'm alllllmost finished with this book. it's one that has to be savored. 
-  order crib, bassinet, and changing table/dresser.
-  start ina may's 'guide to childbirth'.  //  i started this book, but haven't finished it yet.
-  post on instagram stories.
-  send out baby shower 'thank you' notes.  //  blahhhhh. i know it's polite, but sheesh.



[weekly goals]

-  powersheets check-in.



[daily goals]

-  little by little.
-  eclp dailies.
-  water + vitamins.  //  i did so well this month!

Friday, May 26, 2017

thoughts in my last month of pregnancy.





as of yesterday, i am 36 weeks!

i've been thinking back on that day alllll the way back in october when i found out i was pregnant. it seems like forever ago and just yesterday at the same time.

our little man can basically come any day now. my guess is that i will go past my due date, but ultimately it's just a waiting game. we finally found a rocker/chair and jared put the crib + changing table/dresser together this week, so the nursery is starting to come together. it was initially going to double as my office, but after thinking about, i don't want to work where the baby is sleeping.

i made a huge to-do list of everything i still need to do before baby gets here. i still have yet to pack a hospital bag. i need to order the breast pump, put the bassinet + car seat together, make a birthing/labor playlist, and several other small tasks. [by the way, i've come to the conclusion that sending out thank-you notes is just silly. i told each person thank you as i opened the gifts and probably a couple of other times, too. i just feel like this is a waste of time, but i will do it because i never sent out thank-you notes from our reception. oops!]

i also have several things left to buy. i'm not one of those people who needs eeeeevery little thing on "baby must-have lists!". i just want the bare essentials because a) we don't have a lot of extra space and b) half of the items on that list are never used or are really just wants instead of needs. once i have my work baby shower + the one my mother-in-law's work is throwing for us, then i'll sit down and decide what's left to buy that's essential. 

it's still crazy to think that in less than a month, i will have a baby. not just the birth, but actually taking him home. i'm so grateful to have jared as a support system/helpmate/husband/etc. there are other small anxieties i have that sound so silly, but hey- it is what it is. like if people just show up unannounced in those first couple weeks. or if people want to hold him and just- germs + ick. i am such a germaphobe, but i feel as though it will be magnified once he is born. i have decided to not feel bad if i ask someone to wash their hands or "don't touch!" because that motherly instinct is fierce.

i am finally getting caught up at work and getting all the last minute details sorted out with my clients and accounts. i will start working from home two weeks after i give birth. i plan to go back to work after six weeks.

i keep trying to imagine what it's going to be like when i go into labor, but truth it, however i imagine it to be isn't reality.  this experience is so different for every person, so i'm learning to take it all in these last several weeks. i have opinions thrown at me left and right, but i'm learning to smile and prayerfully make decisions that are best for our family.

there is one thing that i know for sure of motherhood though. and it is this: i know nothing. i can do all the research and planning and prepping, but it cannot fully prepare me for this insane/beautiful/crazy/hard journey i am about to experience.

until baby is born, you can find me over here saying lots of prayers and eating ice cream. :)



Thursday, May 25, 2017

pregnancy: month eight.





DUE DATE:  june 22
WEEKS:  31 - 35
TRIMESTER:  third
GENDER:  boy!



SYMPTOMS:

the heartburn is inconsistent these days. i have it maybe twice a week now, which is totally managable.

swollen feet.  when i look down, i see the michelin man's feet, not my own. i can actually only wear about three pairs of shoes at the moment because- well, i cannot even slide my feet into my cute summer sandals.

melasma. aka: pregnancy mask. i noticed these tiny patches of freckles on the tops of my cheekbones. i googled it and sure enough, it's caused by all my raging hormones. i actually find them kinda cute, but there are some cases that are really severe. jared calls them my pregnancy freckles. :)


CRAVINGS:

peanut butter + salads. [not together, of course.]


MOVEMENT:

since baby boy is head down [has been since around 32 weeks] - i mostly feel his little feet up by my ribs/upper stomach. my entire life, people have made fun of my ribs because they stick out and have a funny shape. this has actually proven to be a great thing during pregnancy. no rib punches; no pain. just sweet little kicks and BABY HICCUPS. 


SLEEP:

the insomnia has went away for the most part. i have started waking up around six and not being able to fully go back to sleep, but that's better than being wide awake for over an hour at two in the morning. it's difficult for me to get comfortable, but once i find a good position, i'm out like a light!


CLOTHING:

i still have my small rotation of shirts. i had to break down and buy another pair of maternity jeans because the other pair were so darn tight. BUT. those jeans were the same size i was before i got pregnant, so if i was that size up until 35 weeks, i'm totally okay with that. :)


LOOKING FORWARD TO:

the birth. i have met with our doula and am so, so thankful she is a believer. she is going to do everything possible to help my have a natural birth + spiritual experience.

sleeping comfortably. i mean, i'll have newborn, so sleep will not be happening often, but i'm so looking forward to sleeping on my stomach again.

not hearing "oh, you're so big!" RUDE. from what i can tell, people mean my bump is like a watermelon, but seriously people - do NOT tell a pregnant woman she is big! the only comment anyone should make about a pregnant woman's appearance is that she's cute/beautiful/glowing.





[more pregnancy updates here]

Thursday, May 11, 2017

big hill lake.



 i cannot wait to take this little dude camping + fishing.


 i have a keen flower detector. these were hidden on a trail, but i spotted them as we walked by.


 vacay pose!


 my niece picked flowers + of course i had to photograph them.


 33 weeks!


 this was where our campsite was - nestled in these beautiful trees with so much beautiful light.


 black + white


 my sweet niece snapped these photos.


 33 weeks


looking up




jared + i took one last big camping trip before baby get here next month. [side note: oh, mylanta. i'm having a baby next month. send all the ice cream, please.] we camped at big hill lake in southern kansas. the weather was perfect. we hiked- yes, even me, at eight months pregnant. we fished + laughed + relaxed + had the best time. i cannot wait to take our little man camping!