Sunday, December 2, 2018

one teaspoon, not one cup.

  N E W  J O B  

i have been at the credit union for a little over a month now. it's so great to be back! [i previously worked at mcu for six months right after jared + i got married]. having that prior experience made the transition much easier than i expected. my co-workers are fun + helpful. and goodness, there's always food! the only drawback to my new job is the commute. traffic is always a nightmare, but next year, we are moving our headquarters (where i work) downtown, so it won't be as bad! (i initially typed something about being a working girl downtown, but that made me sound like a hooker instead of an accounting associate. ha!)

  J A C K S O N  

jackson is seventeen months. he is feisty + sweet + always on the go. we recently gave him his first haircut. he looks like a big boy, and my heart simultaneously aches + bursts when i see him now. while this age is really, really exhausting, it's also really fun. he understands a lot of what we are saying now, so when i point to things or say something, he comprehends it instead of looking at me like i have five heads. he can say nine words - mama, dada, baba (his cup), nana (bananas/my mom), papa, bubble, bible, tyler, and juice.

in the last month, jackson had croupe + then another virus two weeks later. i am fully aware that he is going to get sick, but it would help if other parents would use some common (and courteous!) sense and keep their sick children at home. i'm really thankful that my in-laws + niece don't mind watching jackson when he has a cold. there are many challenges to being a working mom, and having a sick kid is one of the top stressors. but i've made my peace with the fact that jackson is a walking germ ball, so sickness if inevitable.

i will admit though that when he was sick last week, he wanted me to hold him all evening. i happily obliged. i was watching tv and looked down to find him asleep in my arms. i don't ever want him to be sick, but my heart was bursting during that hour + a half that he was asleep on me. it reminded me of this time last year when i'd rock him to sleep after nursing. when those memories flood my memory or my FB timeline, i have to choke the tears back. i look back on that season of my life with a sort of fondness. at the time, it was hard. really, really hard. but it was still good.

  R A N D O M S  

-  i'm learning that motherhood is hard, but "hard" doesn't mean that something is wrong; it just means it's hard.

-  i made a strawberry pretzel salad for thanksgiving, and it was a hit! my MIL informed me that i am required to bring that to thanksgiving + christmas from now on. not gonna lie, i was really happy everyone liked it. i lovelovelove to bake, but i'm always nervous for other people to try my desserts. it possibly has to do with the time i was baking peanut butter cookies, and i had my mom try the batter. she made a horrid face. how much salt did you add?! we looked at the recipe and nearly fell over with laughter when we realized my mistake - it called for one teaspoon, not one cup of salt. oops. (in my defense, i was young. it's why i now triple check a recipe when it calls for a teaspoon/tablespoon/cup!). i also baked two pumpkin pies for the first time, and they turned out great. (well from what i was told - it's not my favorite dessert).

-  it seems like it has snowed a lot lately. it's not even officially winter yet, and i want to cancel winter already.

-  we watched fantastic beasts + loved it! i saw a lot of negative reviews of the movie online the next day, and i'm just overly annoyed with everyone being offended + highly critical of every stinking thing. i'm in favor of constructive criticism, but social media has convinced everyone to share every little offense or dislike.

-  i have been drinking tea in the afternoons at work, and it is a small thing, but it brings me joy.

-  we are still loving our new home. we switched jackson's bedroom + the spare bedroom for now because his bedroom was getting too cold with the door shut. i cannot wait for it to get warm again so that we can start up our evening walks again.

-  i recently have been trying new recipes. this mexican lasagna was delicious! this creamy beef pasta was not.

Friday, October 26, 2018

He goes before me.

today is my last day at my current job.

this is the part where i'm supposed to say that it's bittersweet, but that would be a lie. yes- i will miss a couple of my co-workers fiercely. but that is not a reason to stay.

for the last six months, i have felt like i was drowning. just when i thought i could breathe, another wave would come crashing in. work became this place where i was just trying to survive. i could list all the reasons why, but that's not my style. simply put, i was giving my all and then some in exchange for chump change.

when i started this job three years ago, i proudly walked in the house one night after work and declared that i was going to retire from that place. i loved my job, the clients, everything. shortly after i was hired, i received a promotion. in hindsight, that's where it all started.

when i started job hunting in late spring of this year, i had daily emails of open positions for bookkeepers, but nothing that looked promising. i started to feel hopeless. i casually mentioned this to jared a few weeks ago, and he quickly replied, "that's when a breakthrough is about to happen." little did he know just how right he was.

while at work on a saturday (ugh), jared texted me that a local credit union had just posted an opening in their accounting department. i had previously worked for the company as a bank teller, but quickly realized accounting was my first love. i applied immediately. the following monday, i received an email asking for an interview, which happened on wednesday. the next day, i was asked back for a second interview. i found that promising. at the end of the second interview, we wrapped up the questions, and they looked at me and said, "we want to hire you." WAIT WHAT.

guys. this job comes with a big pay increase plus benefits! it's huge for our family.

God was faithful to provide this job. i never lost faith- even if it was the size of a mustard seed. i asked Him when this process started to either change my heart or change my situation. He did both actually. but there's another part to this story that i need to tell. 

i put my two weeks in yesterday. the reaction was expected. i was asked that my last day be today. i agreed. i had another week before i could officially start my new job, so i wondered how that would affect our finances. nonetheless, i knew we'd be okay.

but God went before me and made a way before i even had a chance to ask. i got back to my desk and saw an email from my new employer confirming my start date. she mentioned i could start next week if need be. PRAISE HIM.

Monday, October 22, 2018

the weekly: october 15th - 21st.

  S N A P S H O T S  

-  celebratory chick-fil-a.  
-  wild + free.
-  he loves my parents' land.
-  jackson + mommy.

   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S    

-  i survived the tax deadline on monday + celebrated with chick-fil-a.

-  i had a prayer answered in a big way this week. i can't say anything just yet [not pregnant] but it is huge for our family!

-  we took a short overnight trip to oklahoma to visit my family. jackson had a blast running around my parents' property and soaked up all the attention.

   L E S S O N S   +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  i was telling jared how stuck i felt in a certain area of my life. he told me that meant the breakthrough was about to happen. he had no idea just how right he was! if you're feeling stick, like there's no hope of your situation changing, i'm confident that God will either change our hearts or change our circumstances.

-  there is something about going back to oklahoma that resets my soul.  

  P R E V I O U S L Y  on  W I L D B L O O M  

+  2017:  three things you need to know (this is when #notpolethursdays started!)
+  2016:  tidbits of life
+  2014:  life lately
+  2013:  a happy list  //  DIY fall pumpkins

Monday, October 15, 2018

pregnancy + infant loss remembrance day.

in the late eighties, president ronald reagan proclaimed the month of october as national pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. in the mid-2000s, october 15th became pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day. if you've experience this type of loss, you don't need a day to be reminded of such a thing. the loss is forever woven into my life, and i will never, ever forget.

three months later, there are still little reminders of our baby. we would have found out the gender of our baby this month. i found my maternity leggings while i was unpacking last month. knowing my arms will be empty come next spring. and several other reminders that come out of nowhere and sting all over again. i assumed they would fade over time, but i know now that i will always carry it with me.

when i'm ready, i will give our baby a name. not for closure- that will never happen- but because there was a life growing inside of me, if only for nine weeks. naming the baby acknowledges that short life. and though that life never lived outside of my womb, it was still a life.

i remember growing up and knowing that my mom had experienced a miscarriage before she had my brother + i. her loss, that pain - it never truly became real until the moment i called her to tell her that i had miscarried my own baby. she wept with me over the phone and told me how it brought up the painful memory all over again. it's something she's carried with her for over three decades. i know i will, too.

the only comfort in this process has been Jesus. He will be the only comfort going forward. if you have experienced a loss, know that you are not alone. the Great Comforter is holding you in His arms. He provides peace that surpasses all understanding

the weekly: october 8th - 14th.

  S N A P S H O T S  

-  saw these pretties on my evening walk.  
-  slow mornings with a sweet cuddle bug.
-  he's growing so fast.
-  sunset.

   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S    

-  i made a cleaning spray with my thieves sample that came with my YL starter kit. i was skeptical of it, to be honest. but - yet again - it surprised me. the top of our stove is sparkling clean now! i also cleaned our bathroom with it, too.

-  jared worked a split shift on thursday and friday, which meant we got to drink coffee together before i left for work.

-  the october deadline for taxes is next week, so i was insanely busy at work this week. i clocked in several hours on saturday to help out. it reminded me that in a few months, i'll be working sixty hours each week during tax season, and... dang- that got depressing real quick.

-  it snowed on sunday night. in october. what the heck?!

   L E S S O N S   +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  jared + i were reflecting on how jackson is growing so fast. we thought of the times we would wish for the next season, the next milestone - only to miss the current phase once it was gone. 

-  i have really enjoyed finding new recipes to make for dinner during the week!

-  i picked jackson up on thursday because of jared's shift, and it reminded me of when i did that every work day during second shift.  

  P R E V I O U S L Y  on  W I L D B L O O M  

+  2017:  powersheets check-in Q2 + Q3  //  currently: october
+  2016:  coffee date
+  2014:  iphoneography
+  2013:  tidbits of life  //  instagram

Monday, October 8, 2018

the weekly: october 1st - 7th.

  S N A P S H O T S  

-  breakfast at one of our favorite local spots.   
-  my pumpkin.
-  i love those two. 
-  hello, october.

   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S    

-  jackson can now climb on the couch, so that's fun.

-  the boys + i had breakfast at the reverie on friday morning.

-  we took jackson to the pumpkin patch on saturday. it was chilly outside, and we had a blast!

-  i finished the book, i'd rather be reading. so delightful + nostalgic.

-  jared + i had a sushi date followed by grocery shopping. i know, i know- our saturday nights are so wild.

-  i randomly bought some perfect bars at the grocery store, and good grief- they are SO good.

-  movies watched:  hotel transylvania. (5/5)  //  the darkest minds. (3/5)  //  the new purge movie. (3/5)   

   L E S S O N S   +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  follow the arrows. i'm often so focused on getting answers that i miss the arrows that are pointing me in the direction i should go.

-  we celebrated the life of jared's grandma on friday. the service was beautiful. what i gleaned the most is- when we get together for family functions (birthdays, holidays, etc.)- it matters to someone. the memories shared of grandma fern were mostly from when everyone got together, even if it was just for a game of scrabble. these moments matter. i want to be more intentional with those times with the people i love because it matters to someone.

-  i was feeling very discouraged about my little side business this week. when people are snarky about things i love, i feel strongly about it. but- people are entitled to their own opinions, as am i. and then i had someone tell me that the oils i gave them have helped them tremendously, and that was all i needed to kick the negativity. 

  P R E V I O U S L Y  on  W I L D B L O O M  

+  2016:  a happy list from today  //  luke's diner  //  friday favs
+  2013:  what teaching sunday school has taught me  //  currently

Friday, October 5, 2018

friday links.

+  i made abby's taco soup this week, and it's my new favorite recipe. the flavors are just divine.

+  two years ago today, i left the house before the sun came up to have a latte at luke's diner

+  michelle shared a list of 2018's most frightening halloween costumes. I'M DEAD.

+  i'm thinking about getting this diffuser for jackson's bedroom.

+  i binged the dr. death podcast recently. if you are a fan of dirty john, listen to this!