Friday, June 29, 2018

JACKSON TIMOTHY - YEAR ONE.




my sweet boy. giggly. already opinionated. curious. silly. always dancing to music. gives hugs. says mama, dada, nana, baba, hi, and isus (Jesus). you have filled our lives with joy + laughter since you made your entrance into this world on this day, one year ago.

it hasn't always been easy, but that season- it is a one of redemption + grace + Jesus. this journey is a testament to a God who knows + sees His children.

jackson is so loved by our people. i have been brought to tears several times when i think about how many people love our son. their faces light up at his smile. they scoop him into hugs + kisses + giggles.

happy birthday, jack-jack! you are immensely loved. 





Wednesday, June 13, 2018

life lately.



jared + i joked recently that there can never just be one thing going on in our lives at one time - only a minimum of twelve.

we listed our home on the market last month and received an offer less than 24 hours later. this time around, there was no stress because we knew this was a seller's market - big time. we officially closed on the house last week and celebrated with mexican food, obviously.

the home that we are buying will be available as early as next weekend! before we move in, there are three key renovations that must happen - new sheet rock throughout the entire home, new flooring, and re-configuring a couple rooms. i am super excited to start this process even though i know the stress it can bring. it's almost as though we have felt a little restless the past three years when it comes to making a house a home. we are ready to put some roots down + live close to family + be back in the city. (our previous house was only ten-fifteen minutes from everything, but it felt so much further).

i don't regret our park city home though. i look back at those months fondly, knowing that it was filled with redemption + grace + growth following jackson's birth. God's tenderness + kindness toward me in those months - especially at night when i was home alone with a newborn - are imprinted on my heart forever.

i've been very open about my struggles with my failed birth plan. as we approach jackson's first birthday (which i am in denial about hardcore), i can openly say that while it is easier to see birth stories online and not burst into tears, i still carry a bit of pain in my heart. i've debated whether or not to write about it because i don't want jackson to read it one day, and think that i regret anything about him specifically. it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me - my attitude, the poison of comparison that plagued me for months, and putting God aside.

i don't think God "punished" me for trying to live life my way and will my plans into existence, but i firmly believe that he took the broken pieces and made it beautiful. dare i say - there's a smaaaaaalllll part of me that is thankful. i wonder if my birth plan had gone my way - what would my pride look like? would i wear "natural birth" like a badge of honor, snubbing my nose at mamas who didn't do the same? this experience humbled me immensely while increasing my empathy for all mamas. (even for the kardashians.) Lord knows ain't no hood like motherhood.

wow, i suppose i had a lot to say! and to think i was considering deleting wildbloom last week. i actually considered deleting everything online last week, but that notion has passed. i love social media as much as i hate it. i'm trying to be intentional about all of it. right now, it looks like less scrolling. taking more photos, but not feeling the need to share every single frame. not sharing just to share because i haven't posted in a while. following people who have something to say instead of something to sell. unfollowing the noise.

well, that's life lately - aka - blissful chaos.