creating:  goals for october with my powersheets
cooking:  a lot lately. i'm not making extravagant meals, but i'm enjoying trying new things. i recently baked scones!
drinking:  lots of water + coffee. always coffee.
snacking:  trail mix. sweet potato chips. coconut milk caramel bites.
reading:   i'd rather be reading - anne bogel  +  educated - tara westover.     
listening:  struggle well project podcast  +  lauren daigle's new album because it's so dang good. 
watching:  the blacklist. this is us. fall tv is here!
wishing:  to quit my job + work from home. maybe open a small photography business + have another side gig.    
anticipating:  the weekend. this was a loooooong week.      
enjoying:  our home. it's just so wonderful.      
wondering:  if i should start selling oils. who even am i, you guys???
loving:  the cool, fall weather.  
hoping:  for the best. i'm taking steps for our future. they might not pan out, but that's okay.   
marveling:  at what the Lord has been doing in my life the past two weeks.    
needing:  a vacation. i don't necessarily need to go anywhere. just a week away from work will do. 
learning:  "hold plans with open hands instead of closed fists" emily p. freeman.
smelling:  stress away + lavender. [if you're curious about oils, follow along here.]
wearing:  these new shoes i got from target! they're so dang cute.
bookmarking:  blogging ideas.  
giggling:  at my crazy baby. sometimes he dances so hard that he falls down, and it's the best.   
feeling:  all the feels. happy. excited. nervous. anxious. but i think it's all positive, if that makes sense.

making me happy:  slow, rainy saturday mornings. hugs from jackson. coffee [always]. new dinosaur socks. fun conversation with another mom at target. maple donuts. writing + worship music. cozied up on the couch with a good book. a rainy week with perfect fall weather.

  S N A P S H O T S  

-  fall is here!  
-  i just love him.
-  diffusing oils for my sickly baby. 
-  i've heard so many good things about this book.

   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S    

-  i received a jury duty summons. it's my first, and i think it's exciting. 

-  i took the day off on friday to go shopping with my mama! it was just like old times + exactly what i needed.

-  we ventured out to el dorado to camp on friday night. the weather - you guys - it was perfect.

   L E S S O N S   +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  He is near in our brokenness. during worship on wednesday night, i had an amazing moment. i can't quite describe it, but i won't forget it. ever. i've been struggling with a lot lately, and He covered me with His love.

-  on sunday, we woke up with a sickly baby. it made my mama heart so sad, but i wasn't mad about the extra cuddles.

  P R E V I O U S L Y  on  W I L D B L O O M  

+  2016:  friday favs  |  the best cookies ever  |  fall favorites  |  if i were a flavor of ice cream  |  a happy list  |  WB favs
+  2015:  currently: september.
+  2014:  a day in the life
+  2013:  the coming of fall  |  currently  |  a happy list

as i cooked dinner, jackson sat at my feet- pots + pans scattered all over the kitchen floor. he mimicked me as i stirred the food. i smiled + thought back to this time one year ago. smiling didn't come easy because of the constant state of anxiety that plagued my everyday life.

i questioned everything i did in regards to my mothering abilities. i was drowning in worry + self-doubt. jared kept gently reminding me that i was doing the absolute best i could do and offer our son. he was right, yet the negative thoughts outweighed the positive every single time.

one year later, i think back to that season. that new mom. i wish, oh how i wish, i could cradle her face in my hands and tell her, YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB. [no doubt i'd have tears in my eyes because i do just typing it.] i'd tell her to stop comparing herself to others around her and moms she sees on the internet because their perfect instagram squares don't tell the whole story.

comparison was my nemesis. from jackson's birth to breastfeeding to his sleep habits to everything in between. it consumed me. google is one of the worst things for a new mom. i once read a comment section [whyyyy did i do that?!] where another mom wrote, "breastfeeding is the most natural thing a woman can do. it was the way God intended it." well susan, i'm pretty certain God intended for us to be kind + compassionate to other moms + not judgmental d-bags.

our abilities as mothers don't hinge on how another mother raises her kids. we've convinced ourselves that the beliefs of other moms are absolute, even if they aren't in any way possible because of circumstance, lifestyle, etc.

mama friends, here me on this. stop spending so much time comparing and justifying your child-rearing choices to strangers on the internet, to the neighbor across the street, to the way so-and-so does it, to everyone with a differing opinion. your child is just that - YOURS. if you're making informed decisions regarding your child and their well-being, YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB.

so this is me raising the white flag to all the moms out there.

whether you breastfeed or formula feed or do both.
whether you vaccinate or you choose not to.
whether you stay home or work from home or go to a job outside the home.
whether you have one child, two children, three or twelve.
whether you use regular diapers or cloth diapers.
whether you co-sleep or your child has yet to sleep through the night or both.
whether you dress your kid in nothing but name brand clothes or it's alllll hand-me-downs.
whether you feed your kids only organic foods or you don't care about organic food.
whether you homeschool or send your kids to public school or pay for private school.

let's repeat this together: GOOD FOR HER; NOT FOR ME. [thanks to amy poehler for this phrase!]

you are in no way 'less than' because someone loudly proclaims a specific method that is different from yours as the "best" way. just because they're loud doesn't mean they're right. mothering differently than others doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.


  S N A P S H O T S  

-  puffy clouds make me happy.  
-  my boys.
-  an imperfect photo, but i still love it.
-  fall mums.

   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S    

-  i came home TWICE this week to a fully-cooked meal. jared bought a new grill, and i'm reaping the benefits, y'all.

-  i took my nieces + jackson to the mall. i was "that mom" whose kid was screaming veeeeery loudly as i carried him outside because homeboy just wanted to run around and be free. it was humbling + slightly hilarious.

-  i started participating in the #10thingstotellyou challenge on instagram.

-  i ordered a starter kit from young living. i promise i'm not going to be annoying about it, guys.

   L E S S O N S   +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  there's a difference in knowing who God is and actually knowing Him.

five tv shows that sum up my personality + who i am.

-  cooking dinner is so much better when you plan out meals + have all the ingredients! HA. i am on week two of meal planning, and it is going great. [this is not to be confused to meal prep. my sunday afternoons are for naps.]

  S N A P S H O T S  

-  reading anne bogel's new book, i'd rather be reading.  
-  that kid loves playing outside!
-  saturday mornings.
-  coffee + dino.

   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S    

-  labor day was spent quietly at home, which was very welcomed after such a whirlwind summer.

-  i had an hour + a half before an appointment one morning, and i spent every minute browsing target + drinking a latte. it was BLISSFUL.

-  once jackson started walking, he has been non-stop on the move. he has no time to cuddle with mommy. i left for work on friday morning and asked him for a hug. he usually runs away laughing because he knows i'll come chasing after him. but this time, he walked up to me with arms open and gave me a hug. my heart could have burst out of my chest.

-  we usually have no trouble putting jackson to bed at night, but saturday night was out of the norm. he was crying and crying, so i gave it five minutes, and finally went in to check on him. i picked him up and sat in the rocker for about ten minutes just holding my baby boy. i cried some happy tears because - as i said before - i never, ever get to cuddle with him anymore. jared peaked in to see what was going on, and he smiled really big and knew that it was exactly what i needed.

-  jared + i had the perfect sunday afternoon. we lounged outside, sipped coffee, and enjoyed the incredible weather. once jackson woke up, he played and we took him to the park. we ended the day with a game night with friends. our sundays are usually so hectic, and this was just what my soul needed.

   L E S S O N S   +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  i loathe grocery shopping because i always, always forget something. [yes, even when i make a list, there's always something.] but this week, i was determined to change that. and i did! what i found most helpful was putting pen to paper + writing out a meal plan for the week. 

-  i have never read a book twice, and that's okay. there are too many books on my TBR list

-  i took anne bogel's reading personality quiz. i tested as "the escapist" + that is very accurate of my reading life.

-  our childcare situation changed this week. real talk: i could not see how God was going to work it out. jared was so positive, and i just wanted to wallow in myself. we received the news right before church started, and i sat through the entire service feeling sorry for myself + telling God there was no way this would work out. i was so caught up in the circumstance that i couldn't remember all the times He HAS provided. and guess what? by the end of the service, He DID provide. jared's parents start watching jack next week. not only was it an answered prayer for us, but it was for them. they're retired and could definitely use the extra cash. God saw my distrust and still made a way. i don't deserve His kindness, but He has really been doing a refining work on my heart as of late. this song has constantly been playing.

  P R E V I O U S L Y  on  W I L D B L O O M  

+  2017-  coming back to me  //  dairy-free diet  //  day date in OKC 
+  2016-  summer favorites  //  currently  //  most memorable birthday  //  labor day recap  //  joyful things  //  odd traits
+  2015-  colorado springs trip
+  2014-  when i grow up  //  fashion trends  //  passion  //  currently  //  reading list  //  music  //  INFJ
+  2013-  when true love doesn't wait  //  falling into autumn  //  thirty-two  //  tidbits of life 
+  2012-  over the weekend  

  S N A P S H O T S  

-  banana birthday cupcake.  
-  saturday morning planning.
-  jackson loves his new bedroom.
-  started reading a new book.

   M O M E N T S  +  H A P P E N I N G S    

-  i was organizing our bedroom while jared was watching jackson in the living room. or so i thought. i walked into the bathroom to find jackson covered in water. IN TOILET WATER.

-  i caught a lovely summer cold mid-week. dayquil has been my best friend.

-  i finished reading theeeeee cutest book - since you've been gone.

-  celebrated thirty-two with banana cupcakes, date night, + lots of love from my people.

-  had a game night with our neighbors/family.

   L E S S O N S   +  R E A L I Z A T I O N S   

-  part one: our son thinks playing in toilet water is a good time. part two: make sure the bathroom door is always closed.

-  banana cupcakes are so delightful + i have the best co-worker who surprised me with my favorite dessert!

-  it's unofficially officially fall in my opinion.

  P R E V I O U S L Y  on  W I L D B L O O M  

+  2017:  august: a month in review.
+  2016:  farewell to my twenties.  blogtember: day one.  blogtember: day two.  august 2016.
+  2014:  on setting goals.  september goals.  blogtember: day one.  blogtember: day two.  august 2014.
+  2013:  twenty-seven.  twenty-seventh birthday celebration.  don't quote me on that.  a happy list.