Thursday, February 9, 2017

pregnancy + faith.

kalley heiligenthal posted these words about motherhood on her insta a few nights ago.

" . . . [she] doesn't need to see her mom live a life of security. she needs to watch us risk, live out boldly who we are, hear us laugh at impossibilities and come out on the other side so she would consider faith to be normal, wise, and expected. "

c'mon, preach. i read and re-read those words over and over again so they would seep into my mind and spirit. i desire the kind of faith that is unshakeable- the kind of faith that is rooted in Jesus and what He did on that cross- the kind of faith that doesn't falter because of circumstance.

we received the results of the twenty-week scan this week. our baby boy is great, but there is one small problem. he has a dilated urinary tract on the right side. the doctor told us this will either correct itself while i'm still pregnant or after birth. we will monitor it, but it's nothing to lose sleep over.

while waiting to hear from the doctor about the results, i started to let my mind wander to all the possibilities. all of them were things that could be wrong. i had no indication that baby was anything but healthy - but i still conjured up every scenario in my head. i know i'm not the only expectant mom to do this, but it revealed areas of my faith that are lacking.

i do not want to raise my son with superficial faith. i do not want our son to think that God is just a person he talks to when life gets tough. i want to raise a man of God who loves Him more than anything this world has to offer. i want the Lord to be his First Love, as He is mine and Jared's.

this i know to be true: God is faithful. i am confident that our son is healed in Jesus' name! pregnancy has been a sanctifying process. i imagine motherhood to have the same effect on me.

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