at my 20-week anatomy scan, it was discovered that the scar from my c-section with jackson had healed a little strange. with this realization, it was recommended to me to have a scheduled c-section, due to the higher risk of a uterine rupture (which is not only scary for both baby + mom, but usually requires a hysterectomy).
with this knowledge, we scheduled a c-section at 39 weeks, 2 days.
on the day of june's arrival, i woke up at 3:40. i was so surprised to get more than a few hours of sleep! we started getting all our stuff together, with sleepy eyes + full hearts.
we arrived at the hospital at 5:30 + got settled in the room where i would get my IV, sign papers, go over all the things, etc. i couldn't understand why they wanted me there 2 hours early, but with all the prep work, it made sense after the fact.
it was so surreal as i sat there. i could see my reflection in the window, and just outside, people were making their way to work as jared + i were about to experience a miracle.
the nurse told me i was having contractions. i mentioned i had been having braxton hicks for awhile. she looked at me and said, “no, these are legit contractions!”
the last 30 minutes of waiting were like an out-of-body experience. the moment we had been waiting for — our miracle girl— was just minutes away.
when the nurse came in and said, "it's time", i started to get a little nervous. i walked down the hallway to the operating room. i had been told jared could not be in the room with me, but he was! i sat on the edge of the bed, my feet resting on his legs. as they did the spinal, i just looked at him + prayed. at one point, they were talking to me, but i was so focused that i didn't realize it. they all laughed.
as soon as they finished the spinal, i immediately felt the warm sensation from the waist down. so weird! they laid me flat on the bed + raised the curtain over my chest.
and then it began.
they asked if we wanted to play music, and i was elated. i had sang "goodness of God" throughout my whole pregnancy, so it was fitting that we added it to the playlist. i started to shiver + shake within about 10 minutes, but this was expected. jared kept asking me what songs to add to the playlist, but i couldn't remember any song ever made in that moment, lol. we settled on "great is" and "goodness of God".
one of the nurses commented, "good song choice" + it was nice to know there was another believer in the room.
at 7:37am, as i heard these words sang -- all my life You have been faithful, all my life You have been so, so good. with every breath that i am able, i will sing of the goodness of God -- june's cries filled the room.
loud + beautiful + relieving.
they pulled the curtain down + there she was -- our miracle girl.
we wept. it was such a beautiful, holy moment. (i am weeping now just remembering it.)
jared went to the area where they took care of her while the surgeon began putting me back together.
by this time, i was really shaking. before i knew it, jared was by my side with our miracle girl. i couldn't hold her, but i caressed her cheek + cried. she was beautiful.
it wasn't a short time later + i was all stitched up. i thanked everyone + was wheeled to the recovery room.
i finally stopped shaking about 5-10 minutes after arriving in the recovery room. it was time to hold my baby!
jared placed her on my chest + i lost it all over again. and then! a few moments after she was on me, that girl started rooting around. i had heard of babies doing that, but i was in awe that she did it. i immediately started nursing.
we had to stay in the recovery room for 2 hours. june was in my arms the whole time. the recovery room experience was so different compared to jackson's birth.
i was finally wheeled to our hospital room, where i would stay for 2 days. i was ready to go home the night i gave birth, but obviously that was not going to happen, lol.
this birth experience was redemptive. i initially had a different birth plan in mind, but once they discovered my uterine scar issue, i had to pivot. there was not an ounce of shame once the c-section was decided. i had peace about the whole decision.
the Lord’s fingerprints are all over this story — from the years of heartache to the moment june was born. He held us together, He was in control.
i will never get over this miracle.
i will never stop praising Him for all He has done.
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i wrote about how the Lord came to us with this miracle here.
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