Saturday, October 19, 2019

a quiet confidence.



the photo on the left is from two years ago. i posted it to instagram + opened up about my struggles in motherhood.

earlier this week, jackson asked for a piggyback ride. as i walked by the bathroom mirror, i caught a glimpse of us - him holding on tight to my neck + me, laughing. it was a stark contrast to those two short years ago.

i realize that the biggest difference in then-amber and present-amber is my confidence in motherhood. more specifically, the choices i make regarding my family. as a new mom, i was bombarded with opinions + suggestions about each new milestone with my baby. i would see other moms doing things a certain way, so i thought that i had to mimic them to be a good parent. i had to lay down a lot of expectations + notions of how i thought things HAD to be.

but over time - with lots of prayer - i have come to find this quiet confidence in the choices i make. i no longer feel the need to justify every step i make. mommy bloggers + facebook moms are really, really loud about the way they raise their children. they make you question everything. i'm all for learning from different perspectives, but it becomes harmful when a certain choice is proclaimed as "the best". what's best for my child is different for the mom down the street, and THAT IS OKAY.

i really want to go on a rant about child birth, but i'll save that for another day.

looking at the photo from this week reminds me that when i give every single part of my life to the Lord, i am free. but when i bound myself up in the world's expectations of my abilities as a mother, nobody benefits except the enemy.

i'm not a perfect mother, and i don't strive to be anymore. i still struggle with certain aspects of motherhood, mostly with being a working mom. but prayer has been the mostly powerful force when those feelings start to creep in and steal my joy.

if you're a mom, just know that you're doing a good job.


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