by mid-december, i usually know what my word/phrase for the year will be. my yearly goals are set. my powersheets are filled out + ready to go by january first. well... december came + went. and i had nothing. nada. the past two weeks have been so stressful for me. between the holidays, ringing in the new year, suffering a from a severe case of hives, and knowing that january is the busiest month of my work year... i felt like i was barely keeping my head above water. and it's only january ninth, guys.
but then i heard that sweet whisper: not your strength, but Mine. and it's in that moment i realized i've been trying to survive on my own strength for months. half-hearted prayers here + there, disconnected from worship + scripture - oh, Lord. bind my wandering heart to Thee.
as i had this revelation from the Lord yesterday at work, i felt the chaos lift slightly. it reminded me of a song we sing at church: i call Your name. Lord, You reply. You bring your kingdom and stand by my side. in this season, i've known the Lord was always with me. there were other times of wandering like this in my life. in every season, i know He is still God.
as i was working on my powersheets prep last week, i realized that this year, i want to focus on three months at a time. as a bookkeeper, the quarters of the year are important. three months seems far more manageable than twelve, right? after some thought + looking at the different areas of my life, my word for Q1 of 2018 is BALANCE.
at first, i was like- really? balance. how.... boring. but then the Lord started showing me areas of my heart + my life that needed some balancing. i'm trying to juggle so much. faith. marriage. motherhood. work. friends + family. keeping a home. laundry. i just need to find some... you guessed it: balance.
that looks like less mindless scrolling of all social media, which i have started implementing recently. reading more books. [i've already finished one this week!] tidying up at the end of the day when jackson is [maybe] asleep for the night. working hard when i'm at my job. maybe putting in some overtime to help with the extra load. figuring out good meals to eat. loving jared well. starting a load of laundry when i get up in the mornings.
all while all those tasks will help balance the everyday stresses, what ultimately matters is my relationship with the Lord. that's the foundation of my life. when i'm rooted in scripture + communicating with Him, everything else will fall into place.
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