balancing the mess.

i've sat down to write a blog post for days now, but end up deleting what i write thirty minutes later. it's not that i'm un-inspired or lacking ideas, i just cannot form my thoughts into words. i don't consider myself a writer - photos are my thing. but i remember a time in my life when i could express myself with words, and i want to get back to that place - to find a happy medium between photos + writing.

my feelings toward blogging are weird sometimes. i've been scouring the internet (aka: pinterest) for fresh blog topics, but the only thing i seem to come across are articles on how to grow a blog or how to have a successful blog. 

that's where i feel torn. 

when i first started blogging three years ago, it was fun. i had my very own space to create and share bits + pieces of my life. but then i saw "big" blogs; blogs with thousands of readers. blogs that paid the bills. while i don't hate my day job, making a living by blogging sounds so awesome! so i got to a point where i was writing posts for other people instead of myself. it became about the number of followers + pageviews. 

then it wasn't so fun.

if i say i only blog for myself, then i disregard the community that the blogging world offers and the friendships i've made. i want to share the ups & downs of my life while documenting the memories i make as well. i don't want to portray a life that i don't live. life is messy + crazy + beautiful. 

this is where i'm trying to find the balance. 

what gets your creative juices flowing? i like the old fashioned way and by that i mean non-internet related inspiration: taking a walk, making lists, photographing nature, and so on.  

i'm thinking a new blog design might help. i've been toying with the idea of starting all over, but good grief, i've already done that once! i mean, this little blog isn't even a year old yet! [the inner workings of my mind are a jumbled mess, i tell ya.] whatever direction i take with this space, i want to say thank you to those who continue to read + comment + encourage me. you are why i love this community.