Saturday, May 31, 2014

a fire down in my soul that i can't contain.

before bed last night, i was teetering on the idea of quitting the blogging world. many factors have played a part in this feeling - a lack of creativity, hurtful words, busy schedule, comparison, and so on. but i woke up this morning with a new song in my heart.

to protect my heart, i have been posting recaps and content that's about as deep as our dried up pond. [to the reader who pointed that out - thank you. i need that kind of kick-in-the-butt eye-opener sometimes.] i can pinpoint the moments i started to change, because it wasn't just with this blog - it was in my day-to-day life, my attitude, and my interactions. i don't want to place blame or point fingers, so i am taking this as a learning experience from my Heavenly Father.  as ellie holcomb sings, "Your love will never change, and there's healing in Your name. and You can take broken things and make them beautiful."

vulnerability is one of the most beautiful things. to take the pain + hurt and share that with the world - that takes courage. my word of the year is lionhearted. up to this point, i have been more like guppyhearted. [that's not a word, but you get the idea.] that's where i'm lacking. i let the words of another shape my thoughts about myself. i let the backhanded comments seep into my heart and they festered. this caused me to close off my heart because who wants to put it out there for someone to bash and step all over it? surely not i. but that's no way to live.

i want to transition this space into a place where i share my heart and (from the feedback on the reader survey) more of my lifestyle. but i also want to document the memories i'm making in this season of life. there will still be recaps, but the content will be a mixture. this transition may take awhile. i have a busy june. [how is it june already?!] i guess this is my way of asking y'all to bear with me. i am not going anywhere. God is writing my story. His fingerprints are everywhere i look. there's a fire down in my soul that i can't contain. it roars with His love and redemption. He didn't put me on this earth to fizzle out. He created me to glorify Him and spread that fire.

and that's just what i plan to do.

No comments:

Post a Comment