your suffering is over.

i'll never cease to be amazed by God's ability to show Himself to me, even in scripture i've read countless times before. 
i read the story of the bleeding woman in mark 4:26-34 recently, and God showed me that her story is also my story.

for twelve years, this woman bled. twelve years. she was considered ceremonially unclean, which resulted in rejection from the people in her community. she visited many doctors and spent all she had to find a cure, still to no avail. and she was getting worse.

but she heard about Jesus. He was her only hope. so she made her way through the crowd of people. i can imagine some of them quickly stepping aside to avoid touching her. i can also imagine her desperation. her faith convinced her that if she just touched His robe, she'd be healed. when she finally got to Jesus, she reached out and touched His robe.

scripture says she was healed immediately. IMMEDIATELY. she felt it. and so did Jesus. He looked around to find who touched Him. the disciples were like, "dude, people are packed in here like sardines." and what He does next makes me fall in love with Him even more.

He continues to look for the one who touched Him. wow. i mean, He could have easily kept walking, but He didn't. trembling out of admiration and amazement for this miracle she's just witnessed, the woman comes up to Him, falls on her knees, and tells Him what she did. he replies, "daughter, your faith has made you well. go in peace. your suffering is over." goosebumps and tears.

after reading this, i realized i, too, have been bleeding for years.

it's not a physical ailment though. i've been carrying around baggage of hurt, pain, and shame from past relationships for years and years. too many broken hearts and deep wounds have left me bitter and holding onto words and actions of boys who rejected me. i've carried those memories with me for so long that they shaped how i viewed men. when people mention dating to me, i quickly remind them of how manipulative and deceiving men are. i recount the times i've put my heart out there, only to be used and abandoned. as i read this passage, God showed me how, though not physically, i have been bleeding over the past. that void in my heart needs filled. those who hunger and thirst after what God considers righteous are filled, so i am reaching out to Him. reaching for His touch to heal me. to heal my heart. to heal and restore because He is my only hope. 

the desperate woman's faith in Jesus healed her and made her whole. He knew when she touched Him.
He also knows when i am touching Him, as well. He knows my heart, and He knows what i've been bleeding over. i am reaching out to Him in complete faith, knowing He will heal me and make me new.


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