• i put my christmas tree up on november first, but i am doing something a little different this time around: i am making a conscious effort to enjoy november apart from christmas. okay YES i have my tree up, but it’s mostly for the vibes. BUT. november is also kind of a vibe. it’s moody + cozy + it’s when kansas decides it finally wants to be an autumn girly.
TLDR— november is a vibe all on its own, even with my christmas tree up.
• this week was very difficult. june came down with some sort of virus last sunday. she had fever for three days. she woke up with no fever on wednesday, but that would be the start of the hardest days of the virus. wednesday night was so, so rough. we could tell she was in pain, but could not figure out where/why. we took her to the doctor on thursday + found out it was likely a GI bug going around, which would explain the discomfort she was experiencing. thursday night was even worse-- at one point, we considered going to the emergency room, but i could tell we hit a turning point at 3am on friday morning. june woke up that next morning as her normal self. the relief i felt was palpable + i had a few moments throughout the day where i held back tears because i was just so relieved that my baby was feeling better.
it really put a few things into perspective for me.
one- i take good health for granted. my mind kept wandering to some really serious things that could potentially be wrong with june. it was incredibly difficult to think about.
two- it's no secret that since leaving our church, we have struggled with faith + all the things associated with it. i know Jesus has been with us throughout this journey + is not shaken by our questions. but the last ten months have not been easy. our faith has been on shaky ground because of it. there was a turning point this week though. jared + i both agreed, while lying awake at 3am, that we need to heal our hearts, forgive, and find a church. (in that order!) we need community.
three- i noticed some not-so-great things this week in how i respond to things when i am stressed. it is not the kind of wife/mother i want to be. i know a lot of it is because of my lack of communing with the Lord. that's the thing about bitterness + unforgiveness - it is only poisoning me, not the other person.
• i started reading yellowface. it's a little unhinged, but i like it nonetheless.
• i had a perfect saturday afternoon! i had a couple hours to myself + i sipped a salted caramel cold brew while watching college football + scrolling pinterest. i even worked on a fun little craft. it was just what i needed after such a hard week!
0 Comments